It's embarrassing and gross but yes, it happened

Since I promised that I would be totally honest in this blog, I felt like I had to share an embarrassing side-effect of pregnancy that did happen to me last night even though it is gross and like I said, embarrassing!

Now that Trent has passed his sickness on to me, I cannot stop coughing. I have the runny nose, sore throat and all. I'm to the point where my body is trying to expel the nasty phlegm but all that happens is that it gets stuck in my throat until I cough and cough so hard that I can't breath (it's times like these that I wish I was a guy and knew how to hack that crap up and out) and I have to end up swallowing it back down, which is the worst!

Well, I was having one of these coughing fits last night. My head was over the sink as I heaved, hoping that I would finally get it up. I started coughing so hard that I actually peed myself...like, a lot. So, not only was I heaving over the sink but I started doing this ridiculous dance because I was so grossed out by the wetness in my panties but I didn't want to leave the sink because I was convinced that I was finally going to hack it up. Low and behold, I had to swallow it back down and when I composed myself I looked up to see Mark, who was holding Trent, and the two were looking at me with great concern. Mark asked if I was okay to which I answered that I had to change my underwear because I had just peed myself. Apparently, I should have left that bit of information out because the look on Mark's face quickly changed to one of utter disgust. Trent even looked at my oddly so I had to tell him that he was the reason that I had peed myself in the first place!

A friend of ours recently made a joke about how she was glad that she had two C-sections because she never has to worry about peeing herself when she coughs or sneezes. We all got a good laugh out of that comment but then I remembered a time when I was still pregnant with Trent and I peed myself when I sneezed so I don't know if her statement is entirely true. Maybe I have the world's weakest bladder or maybe it was my kid's ginormous noggin but I peed before the kid was even out of my belly. It happened like this.

I was walking into Home Depot one evening after work to get more paint for Trent's nursery and I suddenly sneezed. I felt wetness in my underwear and I had to stop in my tracks because I had no idea what was going on. For a moment I thought that my water broke but I quickly dismissed that idea after I realized that there was just a little wetness. Saying "screw the paint," I drove home to change my drawers and called my mom, asking her what the hell was going on. She explained that with the baby pushing on my bladder, I can "tinkle"if i cough hard or sneeze and that I needed to be practicing my kegels. My mother saying the word "kegel" is something that I never want to hear again. Anyhow, my point is that apparently you can pee yourself before the baby even comes out of the womb but for all of you out there who are pregnant or who are planning on getting pregnant, here's a little tip...it only gets worse after you pop that child out. From that point forward, it's all downhill from there because at least for me, every time I cough or sneeze, I have to consciously hold my pelvic muscles tight for fear that I will mess myself because it can and does happen!

Oh, the joy's of pregnancy!!

On to another story that you woman might find slightly amusing. Mark texted me last night when he was on his way home from work, asking if I needed him to pick anything up. I texted back that I had just talked to his sister (she's pregnant, too) who gave me a list of medications that are safe to take while pregnant that she got from her doctor. I told Mark that I was so miserable and couldn't breath and that I could take Sudafed or Claritin. His response was, "Great. You should pick those up tomorrow and maybe see if you can find a Nettie Pot." My response to myself was "Wtf? Did he not just ask if I needed anything and I told him what I needed." I waited and waited to see if he was going to offer to swing by the store for me and he never did. I actually had to call him and ask him to get those medications for me. The fact that it didn't dawn on him to volunteer to pick some medicine up for me after he asked if I needed anything simply baffles me! I couldn't even get mad because I realized that it just never occurred to him! Men!!