When I was little, I distinctly remember following my mom around the house and doing everything that she did. I also remember her telling me one day that she just needed a minute to herself! I now know exactly how she feels because I have a little shadow of my own!
Not only is my five month old going through the phase where he wants me to hold him every second of the day, but my two year old does not leave my side. As you mothers out there can attest to, if I walk into the kitchen, Trent walks into the kitchen. If I go to the bathroom, Trent follows. Literally, the second I leave the room, Trent is right behind me asking, "Mommy, what are you doing?" So far, it isn't too annoying. In fact, it is actually quite funny!
This morning for example, I was doing squats in the family room (as I randomly do throughout the day) and as I was lowering myself to the ground and then standing back up, Trent stood next to me and did the same thing all while smiling at me with this look of pride on his face. This afternoon, I picked up my little ten pound weights and began to do bicep curls when Trent suddenly ran out of the room. A few seconds later, the little guy was doing curls next to me while holding two empty water bottles that he found somewhere! I was just going to say that he is too cute but now that I think about it, he probably found the bottles in the garbage can which is kind of gross.
My favorite moment from my shadow so far happened this evening as I was in the shower. Trent was watching me intently from the other side of the glass. I tried to ignore him and enjoy my shower in peace as I propped my leg up on the ledge in the shower and began shaving my leg. Well, that was until I saw the little guy throw his leg up on the bathtub, ball his right hand into a tight fist, and then begin to rub his skinny little calf in tune to my shaving. I couldn't help but laugh out loud! I am sure that this will drive me crazy at one point but for the time being, I am enjoying it.
On another, unrelated note, Trent is insanely competent at using the ipad and he is two and a half! He is currently obsessed with watching motorcycle or animal videos on Youtube. Typically, he tells me what he wants to watch and then I do a search for it on Youtube. This exact thing happened tonight when I was making dinner. Trent wanted to watch pandas, which was a first for him. I did the search, handed him the ipad and then got to work on cutting up some squash. About 15 minutes later, I walked up behind him as he was sitting on the couch and was astonished to see what he was watching! He had somehow found a video with various animals mating that had been spliced together and auto-tuned! In a matter of a few seconds, I saw elephants, giraffes, and even owls getting it on. I didn't know if I should laugh or be appalled. Those of you who know me can probably guess what I did next...I laughed and told him to go show daddy what he was watching. He looked up at me, smiled widely, and asked, "Mommy, what are they doing?" I again told him to take it to daddy.
Needless to say, there will be no more unsupervised Youtube video watching for my son!
My Trent Monster and Me
Monday, October 21, 2013
Thursday, October 17, 2013
The "Bonka" Heard Around the Neighborhood
Let me start off by saying that my son, Trent, asked for it...he literally asked my husband and I to scare him. We happily obliged, but after the last two incidents, we decided that there will be no more scaring going on in our household.
It happened like this...
Trent: "Mommy...Daddy...boogey boogey me" (two-year-old code for "scare me").
Me: "In a minute, bug. I have to change brother's diaper," I say as I walk into the nursery.
Trent: "Nooooooooo. Boogey boogey me nowwwwww!"
Mark: "I'll do it," he says as he looks at me and rolls his eyes. He turns back to Trent and says in his best gruff voice, "You better run, Trent. Daddy's gonna scare you."
Trent's little face lights up, he squeals his ear piercing squeak, and he takes off running into the family room. I laugh and begin to wipe Jagger's chubby bum as Mark runs into the nursery, through the Jack and Jill bathroom, and into Trent's room.
Trent begins to giggle, "Daddy, where are you?" as the pitter patter of his tiny feet begin to make their way toward the nursery. Mark stays silent. Trent walks into the doorway of the nursery, throws his hands in the air and asks, "Mommy, where's Daddy,"
Before I can answer, Mark, who was creeping down the dark hall, screams, "Booga, booga. booga," at the top of his lungs. Little Trent jumped in the air and then immediately ran forward and into the wall. Once he hit the wall, he turned around to run in the opposite direction, and ran straight into the doorjamb which caused him to fall right on his behind and begin to scream hysterically.
What does any good mother do in this situation? Well, probably run to their crying child to make sure he is okay. What did I do? I stood in place and laughed out loud because, well, it was pretty damn funny. Mark runs to Trent, scoops him into his arms, and begins to inspect his red head, while I hold the squirmy baby on the changing table and laugh hysterically. I couldn't help it! Trent soon stops crying and looks over at me. I am trying to look away so that he doesn't see me, but I keep on laughing. Mark is apologizing to Trent when the little guy looks at me and says, "Mommy, I bonka my head. I bonka my head." I look over at him sand just start laughing, which thankfully, makes him laugh too.
Fast forward a few days and Trent walks up to me and asks me to "boogey boogey" him. The kid loves to be scared! He clearly is my child because as some of you may know, I love to be scared. I will watch ghost movies (like Paranormal Activity) late at night and then think I hear footsteps, whispering, etc. and then do the same thing the following night. I used to make my poor college roommate watch these movies with me and she hated it, as does Mark now. I'm crazy! Anyhow, Trent loves when I jump around the corner and scare him. Typically, he jumps, and then laughs, and then begs me to do it again.
After a lot of begging, I walk around the corner and then jump out, which made him laugh hysterically. He asks me to do it again, so I did...about ten more times. On the eleventh time (which is probably only a slight exaggeration), I walk around the corner and pause. Trent begins to laugh and say, "Mommyyyy, where are you?" I wait and wait, and when I hear him take a step forward, I jump out and scream, "BOO!!" Trent's arms fling in the air and he screams hysterically. I begin to laugh as I run up to him to hug him. As soon as I reach him, Trent looks down at the floor. I glance at the ground and notice that I literally scared the pee out of him. I felt horrible! Trent thought it was too funny as he began to laugh and point at the puddle.
Bumps on the head and puddles of pee! There will be no more scaring in my household no matter how much the kid begs for it!
It happened like this...
Trent: "Mommy...Daddy...boogey boogey me" (two-year-old code for "scare me").
Me: "In a minute, bug. I have to change brother's diaper," I say as I walk into the nursery.
Trent: "Nooooooooo. Boogey boogey me nowwwwww!"
Mark: "I'll do it," he says as he looks at me and rolls his eyes. He turns back to Trent and says in his best gruff voice, "You better run, Trent. Daddy's gonna scare you."
Trent's little face lights up, he squeals his ear piercing squeak, and he takes off running into the family room. I laugh and begin to wipe Jagger's chubby bum as Mark runs into the nursery, through the Jack and Jill bathroom, and into Trent's room.
Trent begins to giggle, "Daddy, where are you?" as the pitter patter of his tiny feet begin to make their way toward the nursery. Mark stays silent. Trent walks into the doorway of the nursery, throws his hands in the air and asks, "Mommy, where's Daddy,"
Before I can answer, Mark, who was creeping down the dark hall, screams, "Booga, booga. booga," at the top of his lungs. Little Trent jumped in the air and then immediately ran forward and into the wall. Once he hit the wall, he turned around to run in the opposite direction, and ran straight into the doorjamb which caused him to fall right on his behind and begin to scream hysterically.
What does any good mother do in this situation? Well, probably run to their crying child to make sure he is okay. What did I do? I stood in place and laughed out loud because, well, it was pretty damn funny. Mark runs to Trent, scoops him into his arms, and begins to inspect his red head, while I hold the squirmy baby on the changing table and laugh hysterically. I couldn't help it! Trent soon stops crying and looks over at me. I am trying to look away so that he doesn't see me, but I keep on laughing. Mark is apologizing to Trent when the little guy looks at me and says, "Mommy, I bonka my head. I bonka my head." I look over at him sand just start laughing, which thankfully, makes him laugh too.
Fast forward a few days and Trent walks up to me and asks me to "boogey boogey" him. The kid loves to be scared! He clearly is my child because as some of you may know, I love to be scared. I will watch ghost movies (like Paranormal Activity) late at night and then think I hear footsteps, whispering, etc. and then do the same thing the following night. I used to make my poor college roommate watch these movies with me and she hated it, as does Mark now. I'm crazy! Anyhow, Trent loves when I jump around the corner and scare him. Typically, he jumps, and then laughs, and then begs me to do it again.
After a lot of begging, I walk around the corner and then jump out, which made him laugh hysterically. He asks me to do it again, so I did...about ten more times. On the eleventh time (which is probably only a slight exaggeration), I walk around the corner and pause. Trent begins to laugh and say, "Mommyyyy, where are you?" I wait and wait, and when I hear him take a step forward, I jump out and scream, "BOO!!" Trent's arms fling in the air and he screams hysterically. I begin to laugh as I run up to him to hug him. As soon as I reach him, Trent looks down at the floor. I glance at the ground and notice that I literally scared the pee out of him. I felt horrible! Trent thought it was too funny as he began to laugh and point at the puddle.
Bumps on the head and puddles of pee! There will be no more scaring in my household no matter how much the kid begs for it!
Monday, October 14, 2013
My Crappy Day (Pun Intended)
Well......I'm back!
After a long hiatus, I am back on my blog. I have been very busy editing my manuscript and query letter and researching the literary agents that I am sending my letters to. My morning has been so crappy, I thought it was the perfect time to get back to blogging and share what happened to me.
So, my husband has been nagging me to go to the eye doctor for years. Being that I can no longer read the guide on the T.V. and seeing as how the lines on the road look like they are shaking when I drive at night, I finally made an appointment for this morning. Last Thursday, I texted our usual sitter and asked her if she could watch the kids today at 10. She said that she would love so I thought that was the end of it! Apparently, she was looking for an exact confirmation because 10:15 rolled around and the sitter still hadn't arrived! I knew that I was no going to be late so I began to text her, asking her where she was and there was no response. By 10:22, I threw the kids in the car and drove like a bat out of hell to the doctor's office. I knew that they were going to charge me if I didn't show up so I didn't think I had any other choice.
I fly into the parking space, jump out of the car, and frantically begin to set the stroller up and put Trent in it. I pull the shoulder straps over his boney shoulders and insert the first of the two latch do-dads into the locking mechanism. I had to bite my tongue when I pinched the pad of my right pointer finger in the latch when I was pushing it closed. Getting more annoyed by the second, I push the other side of the latch closed and do the same freaking thing with my left pointer finger! I throw Jagger in the Baby Bjorn and practically ran into the office and immediately began to apologize for my tardiness. The receptionist attempted to tell me that I was going to have to reschedule but apparently, she felt bad for me and let me stay! Luckily, Trent was pretty good throughout my appointment. He cried for me when the doctor was doing the exam but he didn't have a single meltdown which I was so grateful for! During my appointment, the sitter did text me back, saying that she wasn't sure if I needed her or not. So, at least, she did eventually respond!
As I was picking out a pair of glasses, I kept getting a whiff of something nasty. I kept putting the babies butt up to my nose but it didn't smell at all. I looked at the old man sitting next to me, and silently blamed him for the disgusting smell. After I picked out my glasses, we had to wait another 20 minutes for my eyes to dilate and surprisingly, Trent was great the entire time! Not a single peep. I was amazed! It was Jagger who never makes a peep who was fussy during my appointment. He actually cried and squirmed quite a bit. Apparently, it is too much to ask that both boys be good at the same time :)
After an hour and forty minutes, we were headed home and I was praising Trent and his fabulous behavior! When I was taking Trent out of his carseat, I smelled that poopy smell again and then I felt it, wetness on my arm. I turned Trent around and saw it....he shit his pants. Like poop-soup, diarrhea, smell like death, shit his pants.
That poor hit must have crapped his pants at least 45 minutes before and he didn't tell me. So, after we got home, I had to not only clean his carseat, but also give him a bath because when I was taking his underwear off of him, poo just got every where...all over the back of his legs, his feet...all over the flipping place. Now, no matter how many times I wash my hands, I still smell the poop! To top if off, my eyes are all weird from those eye drops that make you dilate and the brightness in my house is killing me!
Let's just say that I really hope the rest of the day goes a bit smoother!
After a long hiatus, I am back on my blog. I have been very busy editing my manuscript and query letter and researching the literary agents that I am sending my letters to. My morning has been so crappy, I thought it was the perfect time to get back to blogging and share what happened to me.
So, my husband has been nagging me to go to the eye doctor for years. Being that I can no longer read the guide on the T.V. and seeing as how the lines on the road look like they are shaking when I drive at night, I finally made an appointment for this morning. Last Thursday, I texted our usual sitter and asked her if she could watch the kids today at 10. She said that she would love so I thought that was the end of it! Apparently, she was looking for an exact confirmation because 10:15 rolled around and the sitter still hadn't arrived! I knew that I was no going to be late so I began to text her, asking her where she was and there was no response. By 10:22, I threw the kids in the car and drove like a bat out of hell to the doctor's office. I knew that they were going to charge me if I didn't show up so I didn't think I had any other choice.
I fly into the parking space, jump out of the car, and frantically begin to set the stroller up and put Trent in it. I pull the shoulder straps over his boney shoulders and insert the first of the two latch do-dads into the locking mechanism. I had to bite my tongue when I pinched the pad of my right pointer finger in the latch when I was pushing it closed. Getting more annoyed by the second, I push the other side of the latch closed and do the same freaking thing with my left pointer finger! I throw Jagger in the Baby Bjorn and practically ran into the office and immediately began to apologize for my tardiness. The receptionist attempted to tell me that I was going to have to reschedule but apparently, she felt bad for me and let me stay! Luckily, Trent was pretty good throughout my appointment. He cried for me when the doctor was doing the exam but he didn't have a single meltdown which I was so grateful for! During my appointment, the sitter did text me back, saying that she wasn't sure if I needed her or not. So, at least, she did eventually respond!
As I was picking out a pair of glasses, I kept getting a whiff of something nasty. I kept putting the babies butt up to my nose but it didn't smell at all. I looked at the old man sitting next to me, and silently blamed him for the disgusting smell. After I picked out my glasses, we had to wait another 20 minutes for my eyes to dilate and surprisingly, Trent was great the entire time! Not a single peep. I was amazed! It was Jagger who never makes a peep who was fussy during my appointment. He actually cried and squirmed quite a bit. Apparently, it is too much to ask that both boys be good at the same time :)
After an hour and forty minutes, we were headed home and I was praising Trent and his fabulous behavior! When I was taking Trent out of his carseat, I smelled that poopy smell again and then I felt it, wetness on my arm. I turned Trent around and saw it....he shit his pants. Like poop-soup, diarrhea, smell like death, shit his pants.
That poor hit must have crapped his pants at least 45 minutes before and he didn't tell me. So, after we got home, I had to not only clean his carseat, but also give him a bath because when I was taking his underwear off of him, poo just got every where...all over the back of his legs, his feet...all over the flipping place. Now, no matter how many times I wash my hands, I still smell the poop! To top if off, my eyes are all weird from those eye drops that make you dilate and the brightness in my house is killing me!
Let's just say that I really hope the rest of the day goes a bit smoother!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Slapping da Bass
This post is a little nod to the movie I Love You, Man and this is why...
Trent is a dancing machine. The moment that little guy hears a note of music, he stops what he is doing and begins to dance. He truly gets dance fever. First, he balls up his fists tightly and then those fists begin to shake back and forth. Next, he widens his stance and then he begins to bob up and down quickly. He also throws in the intermittent white man clap which is never to the beat of the music. My older brother said it perfectly when he told me that when Trent dances, he looks like he has all of this energy that he has to get out of his body which results in near body convulsions. It truly is hilarious.
If you follow my blog, you know that my child loves to be naked. He takes his clothes off any chance he gets and just lets it all hang out. Yesterday however, he didn't take his clothes off himself. I had stripped him down to his birthday suit so that I could dress him for the day when a song began to play on the movie Hop which was playing in the background.
As usual, Trent stopped in his tracks and began to dance. This time however, he began to spin in circles rapidly. Knowing that I had to tape his new moves for Mark, I whipped out my phone and began to record him. Suddenly, Trent fell over, presumably because he was dizzy. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Trent stood up, shook the fog out of his head and then busted out the balled fist move. After shaking his fists for a few seconds, he threw out yet another new dance move. What move you may ask? He began to slap his junk...hard. I paused, not knowing what he was doing but he continued to slap himself in the pecker (as we call it in my house). He wasn't yanking on it at all...he was just slapping it over and over again. Paul Rudd saying, "slapping the bass, mon" immediately began to play in my head. I started laughing as I told him to stop slapping his pecker. He paused for a moment before spreading his legs apart widely and then slapping himself in the belly several times. Again, I told him to stop hitting himself. He stopped, sighed dramatically as if to say, 'dang, mom, stop interrupting me' and then he began his bob, weave and clapping moves.
I sooo wish that he wasn't naked in the video because there is nothing more than I want to do right now then post that video. I showed it to Mark last night and it brought tears to our eyes from laughing so hard. I'm sure my description doesn't do it justice but trust me when I say that it is the funniest thing I've witnessed in quite some time.
Dang, I love that kid. He makes me laugh every single day. Slapping the bass, mon!
This is my little guy who picked out his own outfit and tried to dress himself the other day. And here are some pictures of Jagger and his cousin Mateo... just for fun!
Trent is a dancing machine. The moment that little guy hears a note of music, he stops what he is doing and begins to dance. He truly gets dance fever. First, he balls up his fists tightly and then those fists begin to shake back and forth. Next, he widens his stance and then he begins to bob up and down quickly. He also throws in the intermittent white man clap which is never to the beat of the music. My older brother said it perfectly when he told me that when Trent dances, he looks like he has all of this energy that he has to get out of his body which results in near body convulsions. It truly is hilarious.
If you follow my blog, you know that my child loves to be naked. He takes his clothes off any chance he gets and just lets it all hang out. Yesterday however, he didn't take his clothes off himself. I had stripped him down to his birthday suit so that I could dress him for the day when a song began to play on the movie Hop which was playing in the background.
As usual, Trent stopped in his tracks and began to dance. This time however, he began to spin in circles rapidly. Knowing that I had to tape his new moves for Mark, I whipped out my phone and began to record him. Suddenly, Trent fell over, presumably because he was dizzy. I couldn't help but laugh hysterically. Trent stood up, shook the fog out of his head and then busted out the balled fist move. After shaking his fists for a few seconds, he threw out yet another new dance move. What move you may ask? He began to slap his junk...hard. I paused, not knowing what he was doing but he continued to slap himself in the pecker (as we call it in my house). He wasn't yanking on it at all...he was just slapping it over and over again. Paul Rudd saying, "slapping the bass, mon" immediately began to play in my head. I started laughing as I told him to stop slapping his pecker. He paused for a moment before spreading his legs apart widely and then slapping himself in the belly several times. Again, I told him to stop hitting himself. He stopped, sighed dramatically as if to say, 'dang, mom, stop interrupting me' and then he began his bob, weave and clapping moves.
I sooo wish that he wasn't naked in the video because there is nothing more than I want to do right now then post that video. I showed it to Mark last night and it brought tears to our eyes from laughing so hard. I'm sure my description doesn't do it justice but trust me when I say that it is the funniest thing I've witnessed in quite some time.
Dang, I love that kid. He makes me laugh every single day. Slapping the bass, mon!
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Things Not to Say to New Parents
After talking with many of my mom friends and hearing about some of the funny and often times, downright inappropriate comments people have made about their children, I thought it only fitting to compile my own list of things you should never, and I mean ever, say to parents whether it is their first or fourth baby.
11) Your stretch marks aren't that bad! You may think that you are giving the new mom a compliment, but I assure you, this is no compliment. After all, what stretch marks are good? None, I tell you, none! Women are their own harshest critic and what may not look like a "bad" stretch mark to you, may very well look like the equivalent of a large zit in the middle of her forehead to a mom, especially a new one who has hormones raging through her body that makes the harshest of PMS symptoms look like the proverbial walk in the park. The only compliment regarding stretch marks that is acceptable to give a mother is to tell her that she doesn't have a single stretch mark, in which case, be prepared for a hug and a kiss because that is a compliment we all want to hear.
10) Is his head always going to look like that? My child has been stuck in the birth canal for 18 hours and you thought he would come out looking like a cherub with a perfectly shaped head? Better yet, let me punch you in the eye and ask you if it will be black forever. Give the poor kid some time for everything to straighten out and look normal. His big body has been stuffed into a very small space for quite some time, let him acclimate before questioning the way he looks, or, at the very least, talk about the shape of the little dude's head behind the parents' backs like normal people do!
9) Don't worry, you can always go to a plastic surgeon when he's old enough and get X (his ears, his
nose, his eleventh toe, etc.) fixed. Throughout pregnancy, parents worry incessantly about what their child is going to look like and the last thing they want is for others to point out any flaws they might have. Parents often have blinders on and we all think that our child is the most handsome/beautiful thing to every grace this good Earth. When someone points out what they perceive to be a flaw in another's child one of two things can happen: a) the parents will be on the defensive and may very well respond to your plastic surgeon suggestion with a suggestion of their own; namely, that you get your own damn nose fixed, mole removed, etc. or b) become extremely paranoid that whatever body part you suggested be fixed is that noticeable to everyone and it will turn into an obsession. Bottom line, don't suggest that any baby needs plastic surgery...it's just not nice.
8) Don't worry, you have plenty of time to lose weight before X occasion. Do not, and I repeat, do not, mention losing weight to a new mom unless it is to sincerely compliment her on how great she looks or how quickly she lost all of the baby weight plus some! This comment is especially obnoxious when it comes from skinny bitches who haven't had the pleasure of pushing a watermelon out of their hoo-hah and therefore, have never had to deal with the daunting task of losing baby weight. Moms are worried that they are never going to get back to their pre-baby bodies and only being reminded that we need to lose the baby weight for a specific upcoming occasion multiplies this fear even more. This comment also makes us think that you want us to lose weight before the upcoming occasion and therefore, look like crap now. Better yet, refrain from any mention of baby weight at all. You will be safer that way.
7) You had an epidural! I would never! Oh yeah, smart ass, get back to me on that after you've had to push an eight pound bundle of joy out of your cookie. The moment you go into labor and feel like a donkey is kicking you in the stomach every 60 seconds is the day you can talk to me about being strong enough to do it without an epidural. For those of you who have gone through labor drug free like my cousin just did, I applaud you! You rock! I, however, couldn't do it. Nope! Six hours of contractions with this last baby was enough for me but until you have gone through it yourself, keep your trap shut and don't knock my decision to deliver my baby pain free. I am all for a birth plan and the desire to go through the burning ring of fire sans epidural but please, don't knock my decision to beg the God of a doctor who goes by the title of anesthesiologist, to shoot me up with the good stuff.
6) Ah, you've done your hair/make-up today! You look good! Again, this is not a compliment! All you are really saying is that you think I typically look like a dog turd! Let me explain that I am the annoying mom who doesn't leave the house without doing my hair and make-up. I've never gone to the gym without make-up on. Yup, I'm that girl, so when you tell me that I've done my hair and make-up, I have to laugh inside because I always go out of the house made-up! I'm a mom of two so some days I have a little more time than others to do myself up more than usual. Hey, on a good day I'm able to do my hair and make-up and actually go to the bathroom by myself. You should see me on those days! I bet I'm glowing!
5) You're still breastfeeding your baby? He looks like he can chew a steak by now! I breastfed my first son for 13 months and I plan to do the same for my new little guy. I believe that is the minimum time recommended by the AAP, so sure, go ahead and mock me for doing what is best for my baby. I'm not one of those mom's who whips out my boob, calls my kid over who can talk in full sentences, and nurses him while he stands there staring up at me. A year isn't that long to nurse, especially when it is not done exclusively. Give a girl a break!
4) Shouldn't your kid be doing X by now? Parents are always worried about whether their child is developmentally on par with other kids that age and this situation is only made worse when people ask you if your kid should be doing x (talking, walking, etc.) by a certain point, which is typically followed by a furrowed brow that screams of judgment. For instance, various family members constantly asked me how many words Trent was saying at 20 months and one family member even said, "Don't worry, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him." Well, thanks! I wasn't worried until you insinuated that I should be worried. My worry-meter shot through the roof so what did I do? Stressed out about my kid being delayed for the next 4 months until Trent had his 2 year check-up where the doctor told us that he was way ahead of schedule in terms of word count! I stressed out for nothing! Needless to say, there is not need to question parents' about their child's development unless you have a legitimate question about how old kids are when they do x, y, or z.
3) I'll never do X when I have a baby. Oh yeah, you'll never do that when you have a baby, huh? Well, why don't you have a baby first and then get back to me on what you will and will not do. It is very easy to say what you will and will not do when you don't have monsters of your own wearing you down on a daily basis! I admit, I use to say this too! I always said that I would never let me kid sleep with me but you know what? After the third day of being up all night with my screaming child, I put him in bed with me thinking that we would cuddle until he stopped crying and before I knew it, the sun rays woke my husband and I up and I felt like a new woman after such a restful night's sleep. We eventually broke Trent of that habit but I cannot tell you about all of the judgmental comments people made to us about doing that, especially from those who have not been so sleep deprived that they cannot think straight. Unless you have kids of your own, you really can't say what you would do with your baby! Don't worry, I'll try not to laugh in your face and scream "I told you so" when you tell me that you threw your kid in bed with you all in the name of sleep!
2) I'd never let my kid do that/behave like that. Again, I said the same thing before I had kids but remember, karma bites you in the ass as it has me! I once said that I would never feed my child fast food but after worrying that my son would starve to death because he hadn't eaten anything but goldfish and squeezable yogurt for three days, I broke down and happily drove to McDonalds where he then inhaled 6, count them, 6 chicken nuggets and a small fry. And you know what? I would do it again just to make sure that my kid was getting some protein even if said meat is named after a part of the chicken that really doesn't exist. More recently, people have made several comments to me about my toddler's tempter tantrums and how they would have put a stop to such fits a long time ago. Hearing this, I have to take a deep breath in and silently tell myself that their kid will be worse just because of karma. Are there days when I swat my kid on the butt? Yes! Are there days when I ignore his tantrums completely and go about my business? Yes! Just because you catch me on a day where I continue to cook while my child writhes around on the floor screaming like an injured animal doesn't mean that I never attempt to punish my child's tantrums. I am doing the best I can, people! Tell me about how perfect your two year old is and how he/she never throws a tantrum when you cross that bridge. If your future child is as perfect as you claim he will be, I'll give you $100 and pat you on the back, then I'll beg you for your secret to perfect parenting so that I can bottle it, sell it, and become really, really rich.
1) The baby doesn't look anything like you. Are you sure it's yours? Yes, this actually happened to me. Genes are a funny thing and you never know what your baby is going to look like! My brother who has darker skin color then me, recently had a baby who is very, very fair skinned. My first son is the spitting image of my little brother while my second son looks exactly like me. You never know what you are going to get. With that being said, it is never, and I mean ever, appropriate to ask a new father if he is sure the child is his, especially in front of the mother who just pushed that child out an hour before said question is posed. Okay, okay...so this question might be funny if said once, but any more than that and it is no longer a joke and just downright offensive! Please, for the love of God, never ever say this in the delivery room. A new mom wants to reveal in the joy of her baby and not deal with the insinuation that she just pushed out another man's child!
Bottom line, please think before you speak because karma is a bitch and you don't want it smacking you across the face when it comes to your own little bundle of joy!
11) Your stretch marks aren't that bad! You may think that you are giving the new mom a compliment, but I assure you, this is no compliment. After all, what stretch marks are good? None, I tell you, none! Women are their own harshest critic and what may not look like a "bad" stretch mark to you, may very well look like the equivalent of a large zit in the middle of her forehead to a mom, especially a new one who has hormones raging through her body that makes the harshest of PMS symptoms look like the proverbial walk in the park. The only compliment regarding stretch marks that is acceptable to give a mother is to tell her that she doesn't have a single stretch mark, in which case, be prepared for a hug and a kiss because that is a compliment we all want to hear.
10) Is his head always going to look like that? My child has been stuck in the birth canal for 18 hours and you thought he would come out looking like a cherub with a perfectly shaped head? Better yet, let me punch you in the eye and ask you if it will be black forever. Give the poor kid some time for everything to straighten out and look normal. His big body has been stuffed into a very small space for quite some time, let him acclimate before questioning the way he looks, or, at the very least, talk about the shape of the little dude's head behind the parents' backs like normal people do!
9) Don't worry, you can always go to a plastic surgeon when he's old enough and get X (his ears, his
nose, his eleventh toe, etc.) fixed. Throughout pregnancy, parents worry incessantly about what their child is going to look like and the last thing they want is for others to point out any flaws they might have. Parents often have blinders on and we all think that our child is the most handsome/beautiful thing to every grace this good Earth. When someone points out what they perceive to be a flaw in another's child one of two things can happen: a) the parents will be on the defensive and may very well respond to your plastic surgeon suggestion with a suggestion of their own; namely, that you get your own damn nose fixed, mole removed, etc. or b) become extremely paranoid that whatever body part you suggested be fixed is that noticeable to everyone and it will turn into an obsession. Bottom line, don't suggest that any baby needs plastic surgery...it's just not nice.
8) Don't worry, you have plenty of time to lose weight before X occasion. Do not, and I repeat, do not, mention losing weight to a new mom unless it is to sincerely compliment her on how great she looks or how quickly she lost all of the baby weight plus some! This comment is especially obnoxious when it comes from skinny bitches who haven't had the pleasure of pushing a watermelon out of their hoo-hah and therefore, have never had to deal with the daunting task of losing baby weight. Moms are worried that they are never going to get back to their pre-baby bodies and only being reminded that we need to lose the baby weight for a specific upcoming occasion multiplies this fear even more. This comment also makes us think that you want us to lose weight before the upcoming occasion and therefore, look like crap now. Better yet, refrain from any mention of baby weight at all. You will be safer that way.
7) You had an epidural! I would never! Oh yeah, smart ass, get back to me on that after you've had to push an eight pound bundle of joy out of your cookie. The moment you go into labor and feel like a donkey is kicking you in the stomach every 60 seconds is the day you can talk to me about being strong enough to do it without an epidural. For those of you who have gone through labor drug free like my cousin just did, I applaud you! You rock! I, however, couldn't do it. Nope! Six hours of contractions with this last baby was enough for me but until you have gone through it yourself, keep your trap shut and don't knock my decision to deliver my baby pain free. I am all for a birth plan and the desire to go through the burning ring of fire sans epidural but please, don't knock my decision to beg the God of a doctor who goes by the title of anesthesiologist, to shoot me up with the good stuff.
6) Ah, you've done your hair/make-up today! You look good! Again, this is not a compliment! All you are really saying is that you think I typically look like a dog turd! Let me explain that I am the annoying mom who doesn't leave the house without doing my hair and make-up. I've never gone to the gym without make-up on. Yup, I'm that girl, so when you tell me that I've done my hair and make-up, I have to laugh inside because I always go out of the house made-up! I'm a mom of two so some days I have a little more time than others to do myself up more than usual. Hey, on a good day I'm able to do my hair and make-up and actually go to the bathroom by myself. You should see me on those days! I bet I'm glowing!
5) You're still breastfeeding your baby? He looks like he can chew a steak by now! I breastfed my first son for 13 months and I plan to do the same for my new little guy. I believe that is the minimum time recommended by the AAP, so sure, go ahead and mock me for doing what is best for my baby. I'm not one of those mom's who whips out my boob, calls my kid over who can talk in full sentences, and nurses him while he stands there staring up at me. A year isn't that long to nurse, especially when it is not done exclusively. Give a girl a break!
4) Shouldn't your kid be doing X by now? Parents are always worried about whether their child is developmentally on par with other kids that age and this situation is only made worse when people ask you if your kid should be doing x (talking, walking, etc.) by a certain point, which is typically followed by a furrowed brow that screams of judgment. For instance, various family members constantly asked me how many words Trent was saying at 20 months and one family member even said, "Don't worry, honey, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with him." Well, thanks! I wasn't worried until you insinuated that I should be worried. My worry-meter shot through the roof so what did I do? Stressed out about my kid being delayed for the next 4 months until Trent had his 2 year check-up where the doctor told us that he was way ahead of schedule in terms of word count! I stressed out for nothing! Needless to say, there is not need to question parents' about their child's development unless you have a legitimate question about how old kids are when they do x, y, or z.
3) I'll never do X when I have a baby. Oh yeah, you'll never do that when you have a baby, huh? Well, why don't you have a baby first and then get back to me on what you will and will not do. It is very easy to say what you will and will not do when you don't have monsters of your own wearing you down on a daily basis! I admit, I use to say this too! I always said that I would never let me kid sleep with me but you know what? After the third day of being up all night with my screaming child, I put him in bed with me thinking that we would cuddle until he stopped crying and before I knew it, the sun rays woke my husband and I up and I felt like a new woman after such a restful night's sleep. We eventually broke Trent of that habit but I cannot tell you about all of the judgmental comments people made to us about doing that, especially from those who have not been so sleep deprived that they cannot think straight. Unless you have kids of your own, you really can't say what you would do with your baby! Don't worry, I'll try not to laugh in your face and scream "I told you so" when you tell me that you threw your kid in bed with you all in the name of sleep!
2) I'd never let my kid do that/behave like that. Again, I said the same thing before I had kids but remember, karma bites you in the ass as it has me! I once said that I would never feed my child fast food but after worrying that my son would starve to death because he hadn't eaten anything but goldfish and squeezable yogurt for three days, I broke down and happily drove to McDonalds where he then inhaled 6, count them, 6 chicken nuggets and a small fry. And you know what? I would do it again just to make sure that my kid was getting some protein even if said meat is named after a part of the chicken that really doesn't exist. More recently, people have made several comments to me about my toddler's tempter tantrums and how they would have put a stop to such fits a long time ago. Hearing this, I have to take a deep breath in and silently tell myself that their kid will be worse just because of karma. Are there days when I swat my kid on the butt? Yes! Are there days when I ignore his tantrums completely and go about my business? Yes! Just because you catch me on a day where I continue to cook while my child writhes around on the floor screaming like an injured animal doesn't mean that I never attempt to punish my child's tantrums. I am doing the best I can, people! Tell me about how perfect your two year old is and how he/she never throws a tantrum when you cross that bridge. If your future child is as perfect as you claim he will be, I'll give you $100 and pat you on the back, then I'll beg you for your secret to perfect parenting so that I can bottle it, sell it, and become really, really rich.
1) The baby doesn't look anything like you. Are you sure it's yours? Yes, this actually happened to me. Genes are a funny thing and you never know what your baby is going to look like! My brother who has darker skin color then me, recently had a baby who is very, very fair skinned. My first son is the spitting image of my little brother while my second son looks exactly like me. You never know what you are going to get. With that being said, it is never, and I mean ever, appropriate to ask a new father if he is sure the child is his, especially in front of the mother who just pushed that child out an hour before said question is posed. Okay, okay...so this question might be funny if said once, but any more than that and it is no longer a joke and just downright offensive! Please, for the love of God, never ever say this in the delivery room. A new mom wants to reveal in the joy of her baby and not deal with the insinuation that she just pushed out another man's child!
Bottom line, please think before you speak because karma is a bitch and you don't want it smacking you across the face when it comes to your own little bundle of joy!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
My Mini-Vacation...Not so Restful
I went on a mini-vacation to my parents' house last week and I say that it is a vacation because they are so helpful with the kids and because their backyard is like a peaceful lagoon. Well, it turns out, my "vacation" wasn't so restful!
The original plan was that Mark was leaving on a hunting trip last Tuesday so I was going to take the boys to the Bay Area that same day, Well, it turned out that my parents has yet another wedding in Tahoe last weekend so they stayed with us. I decided to head to the Bay Area with them on Sunday so that I would have the help in case I needed to stop and nurse or give the Trent Monster a break. Mark was bummed that I left a few days earlier than planned but I thought it would be nice to have my mom drive with me and the boys while we followed my dad back to their house.
My car was barely unloaded when I realized how hard it is to take Trent to other people's houses. He always wants to explore so the first two days at my parents' were a little rough. It basically consisted of me telling Trent 'no' every two seconds and Trent crying hysterically each time I took something out of his little paws. For instance, Trent found the largest bag of decorative rock I've ever seen in my life. I'm not even sure why my mom had so much rock but nevertheless, Trent, being the magnet for all things messy, found it and dumped the contents all of over the floor. It took a good 30+ minutes to get Trent to pick up each and every rock and put them back in the bag. There were lots of tears on Trent's part but I am bound and determined to teach my child that he needs to clean up his own mess no matter what! I even contemplated coming back home on Tuesday but Trent finally got the hang of things and calmed down.
The day after we arrived, my dad and I took the boys to Pump it Up. We've never been there before but we had a blast and Trent wore himself out which is always nice. I even had quite the work out myself climbing up the world's largest inflatable slide a bazillion times because Trent refused to slide by himself. The second day, I took the boys to visit with my grandpa, the third day I used a gift certificate for a massage that I have had for two years and the fourth day I hung out with my sister in law and new nephew. In between those visits, my aunt came over to finalize all of the bridal shower details for my soon-to-be sister in law's shower next month and that same soon-to-be sister in law and my little brother came over for dinner on two different nights. And in between all of that, my dad took Trent to see the movie Planes (he lasted 30 minutes) and to my Uncle's ranch where Trent got to see horses, peacocks, chickens and goats.
Trent and my dad had a blast! Besides being Mark's main man, Trent really is my dad's little buddy. He follows my dad around like a shadow. It warms my heart to see him crawl up on my parents laps to cuddle and give them kisses for no reason at all. In the midst of all of the time they spent together, my dad, who always jokes that he is going to teach Trent bad things when he grows up, decided not to wait to make good on that promise. He taught Trent the word "chichimanga" (that's Spanish for boobs), when he pointed at my dad's chest. Well, it turns out that that is one of the handful of words that Trent can pronounce flawlessly. Trent now shouts that word at the top of his lungs whenever he feels like it. For instance, he ran out on the back patio, threw his arms in the air and shouted that word three, count them, three times. He always shouted it about five times while we were in the grocery store on Saturday. Thanks, Papa!
And then there's Tanya, my little brother's fiancee...he LOVES that woman! Every time he sees her, no matter how long it's been, he runs up to her and hugs her and kisses her. It is sooo cute! Trent also had a great time wrestling around with my brothers and running around my parents yard in his birthday suit, helping my dad water and clean the pool.
I had about 10 more people to see and about five more places I wanted to go to while I was there when Mark called and said that he would be home on Friday! We couldn't resist going home that day so that we could have the entire weekend together to rest but as it turns out, that wasn't all that restful either! We went up to Tahoe to see a friend of ours compete in a fitness competition on Saturday. She looks amazing and it is always fun to see those friends especially because they moved out of state.
Here are a few pictures from our trip!
The original plan was that Mark was leaving on a hunting trip last Tuesday so I was going to take the boys to the Bay Area that same day, Well, it turned out that my parents has yet another wedding in Tahoe last weekend so they stayed with us. I decided to head to the Bay Area with them on Sunday so that I would have the help in case I needed to stop and nurse or give the Trent Monster a break. Mark was bummed that I left a few days earlier than planned but I thought it would be nice to have my mom drive with me and the boys while we followed my dad back to their house.
My car was barely unloaded when I realized how hard it is to take Trent to other people's houses. He always wants to explore so the first two days at my parents' were a little rough. It basically consisted of me telling Trent 'no' every two seconds and Trent crying hysterically each time I took something out of his little paws. For instance, Trent found the largest bag of decorative rock I've ever seen in my life. I'm not even sure why my mom had so much rock but nevertheless, Trent, being the magnet for all things messy, found it and dumped the contents all of over the floor. It took a good 30+ minutes to get Trent to pick up each and every rock and put them back in the bag. There were lots of tears on Trent's part but I am bound and determined to teach my child that he needs to clean up his own mess no matter what! I even contemplated coming back home on Tuesday but Trent finally got the hang of things and calmed down.
The day after we arrived, my dad and I took the boys to Pump it Up. We've never been there before but we had a blast and Trent wore himself out which is always nice. I even had quite the work out myself climbing up the world's largest inflatable slide a bazillion times because Trent refused to slide by himself. The second day, I took the boys to visit with my grandpa, the third day I used a gift certificate for a massage that I have had for two years and the fourth day I hung out with my sister in law and new nephew. In between those visits, my aunt came over to finalize all of the bridal shower details for my soon-to-be sister in law's shower next month and that same soon-to-be sister in law and my little brother came over for dinner on two different nights. And in between all of that, my dad took Trent to see the movie Planes (he lasted 30 minutes) and to my Uncle's ranch where Trent got to see horses, peacocks, chickens and goats.
Trent and my dad had a blast! Besides being Mark's main man, Trent really is my dad's little buddy. He follows my dad around like a shadow. It warms my heart to see him crawl up on my parents laps to cuddle and give them kisses for no reason at all. In the midst of all of the time they spent together, my dad, who always jokes that he is going to teach Trent bad things when he grows up, decided not to wait to make good on that promise. He taught Trent the word "chichimanga" (that's Spanish for boobs), when he pointed at my dad's chest. Well, it turns out that that is one of the handful of words that Trent can pronounce flawlessly. Trent now shouts that word at the top of his lungs whenever he feels like it. For instance, he ran out on the back patio, threw his arms in the air and shouted that word three, count them, three times. He always shouted it about five times while we were in the grocery store on Saturday. Thanks, Papa!
And then there's Tanya, my little brother's fiancee...he LOVES that woman! Every time he sees her, no matter how long it's been, he runs up to her and hugs her and kisses her. It is sooo cute! Trent also had a great time wrestling around with my brothers and running around my parents yard in his birthday suit, helping my dad water and clean the pool.
I had about 10 more people to see and about five more places I wanted to go to while I was there when Mark called and said that he would be home on Friday! We couldn't resist going home that day so that we could have the entire weekend together to rest but as it turns out, that wasn't all that restful either! We went up to Tahoe to see a friend of ours compete in a fitness competition on Saturday. She looks amazing and it is always fun to see those friends especially because they moved out of state.
Here are a few pictures from our trip!
My dad with his three grandsons
My brother, his son, Mateo and the giant, Jagger
Jagger's getting strong
My skinny-mini busted in a room that he isn't supposed to be in
Trent helping my dad water, sans pants of course
Jag Jag
Friday, August 16, 2013
Shyness be Gone!
Up until recently, Trent has been horribly shy. Like, scream and hide when strangers say hello, shy. I think that his shyness may be a thing of the past!
First, we were at gymnastics last week and because it is summer, there are many more classes going on at the same time as Trent's class than normal. Typically, his toddler class has the entire floor to itself but this summer, we have been having to share a portion of the floor with the older kids. Last week, part of the floor we were on was occupied by teenagers on the balance beam. Every time one of the teen girls jumped on the beam, Trent would run over to them and very dramatically throw his hands in the air and shout, "On No! Be careful! Don't fall," over and over. It was actually quite funny. I kept wrangling him in but I was just so proud that he approached anyone besides myself, Mark or my parents!
As I said above, up until this week, Trent would screech at the top of his lungs whenever a stranger would say hello to him when we were out running errands. He would then grab my arm and pull my to him so that he could try to hide from the stranger who had the gall to actually look in Trent's direction! Thankfully, Trent seems to be getting over this fear although, I do wish he would have chosen a different way to go about it. You see, whenever we are out running errands and a stranger walks anywhere in our vicinity, Trent yells, "Hey you" until they look at them and then he proudly proclaims, "Hey you...I farted." Yup, he's been announcing to complete and utter strangers that he's farted and half the time, I haven't heard him let one fly so I don't know if he really did pass gas or if he just thinks that it is funny.
Along the same lines, we took the boys out to lunch last week and Mark took Trent to the bathroom. He ran out into the middle of the restaurant screaming, "Mama, I pee pee. I pee. Give me pounds."He was so proud of himself (and I am so proud too...he is doing excellent with his potty training) that he just felt the need to announce it to all and then have people "pound it out" with him.
I have a feeling that he is going to be quite the boisterous boy once the shyness fully dissipates. We are in for a treat!
First, we were at gymnastics last week and because it is summer, there are many more classes going on at the same time as Trent's class than normal. Typically, his toddler class has the entire floor to itself but this summer, we have been having to share a portion of the floor with the older kids. Last week, part of the floor we were on was occupied by teenagers on the balance beam. Every time one of the teen girls jumped on the beam, Trent would run over to them and very dramatically throw his hands in the air and shout, "On No! Be careful! Don't fall," over and over. It was actually quite funny. I kept wrangling him in but I was just so proud that he approached anyone besides myself, Mark or my parents!
As I said above, up until this week, Trent would screech at the top of his lungs whenever a stranger would say hello to him when we were out running errands. He would then grab my arm and pull my to him so that he could try to hide from the stranger who had the gall to actually look in Trent's direction! Thankfully, Trent seems to be getting over this fear although, I do wish he would have chosen a different way to go about it. You see, whenever we are out running errands and a stranger walks anywhere in our vicinity, Trent yells, "Hey you" until they look at them and then he proudly proclaims, "Hey you...I farted." Yup, he's been announcing to complete and utter strangers that he's farted and half the time, I haven't heard him let one fly so I don't know if he really did pass gas or if he just thinks that it is funny.
Along the same lines, we took the boys out to lunch last week and Mark took Trent to the bathroom. He ran out into the middle of the restaurant screaming, "Mama, I pee pee. I pee. Give me pounds."He was so proud of himself (and I am so proud too...he is doing excellent with his potty training) that he just felt the need to announce it to all and then have people "pound it out" with him.
I have a feeling that he is going to be quite the boisterous boy once the shyness fully dissipates. We are in for a treat!
Thursday, August 15, 2013
You Have Two Legs, Don't You?
My husband...I love him but sometimes I just want to wring his neck!
Mark came home early today because he had to take the new Rzr back to the dealership to replace a part that he bent the one time he took it for a spin last weekend! When he was gone, I began to make dinner. Trent was finger painting at the kitchen table quietly while Jagger sat in the Bumpo next to me, happily watching me chop away. I turned my back to him so that I could put something on the stove when I heard Jagger let one rip. I spun around quickly just in time to hear him grunt and see poo shoot out of his diaper, hit his foot and land on the counter. That damn Bumpo is cursed! Jagger will poo in it every single time he is in it and today was no exception. I am not even quite sure how it shot out the way that it did but it was disgusting and kind of laughable.
Jagger is so chunky that I have a hard time getting him out of the Bumpo. I had to rest his upper body against my own, hold the chair down and pull. As his lower body popped out of the seat like a sausage out of a casing, his legs smacked into my cute, clean shirt and needless to say, the yellow stuff was all over me, not to mention, pooled in the chair.
Naturally, mere minutes after everyone and everything was cleaned up, Mark walks in the door! We had a good laugh as I recited the story and we sat down to eat. Mark laughed even harder when I told him that that was the third time that Jagger had an explosion in that chair today!
We put Jagger in his Bumpo and dug in to our plates. Seconds later, we hear an explosion come from Jagger's direction. We stared at the baby as his face turned beet red and he proceeded to grunt and push. Mark instantly looked at me and told me that I better snatch the baby out of the chair before his mess escapes his diaper. I laughed and told him to grab the baby. After all, I had just said that I had cleaned up three explosions in one day!
Fast forward to bed time. I had just cleaned up the dinner mess, scrubbed my shower which was a complete mess, given Jagger a bath, brushed Trent's teeth and begun to nurse the baby on the couch next to Mark and Trent when Trent asked for a glass of water. Mark said, "Hey, Tianna. Trent wants water." If looks could kill, he would be dead! Mark was just sitting on the couch, watching T.V. with Trent, yet he was telling me to get Trent water! What did I do...I pried Jagger off, stood up and got Trent the requested water but not before saying, "You have two legs, don't you?" Okay, okay, so it was a bitchy comment to make but I couldn't help it!
After Trent drank his water, I handed the baby off to Mark and picked Trent up so that I could put him to bed. Mark refuses to put Trent to bed. He loves to cuddle him before he goes to sleep but he hates actually placing Trent in his crib. So, I sang Trent his songs, tucked him in and lined up his stuffed animals just like he likes. I got back to the couch, finished nursing Jagger, put him to bed and grabbed my computer so that I could work on my manuscript (the evenings are the only time I have a chance to edit). I opened the document and heard Trent grunting through the monitor. I grabbed it and saw that Trent was going to the bathroom. Mark laughed but didn't budge! I sighed, set my computer to the side and went into Trent's room to change his diaper and put him back to bed.
After that was done, I sat back on the couch and began to work on my book, excited to relax for a minute before I am too tired and want to go to bed. About ten minutes after I got to work, Trent's little voice sings through the monitor. Surprised that he still wasn't asleep, I grabbed the monitor and saw that Trent had thrown everything out of his crib and was...NAKED! What the heck? I handed the monitor to Mark and asked if he could see Trent's buns or if I was losing it. He smiled, looked at the screen and confirmed that he was naked. He then handed the monitor back to me and continued to poke around on the ipad. Clearly, he had no intent of fixing the situation!
What did I do? I got up of course! I dressed Trent and put him back to bed but not before asking Mark once more if he had two legs! Naturally, as I smart mouthed to him, I stepped on a toy that he left on the ground from when he played with Trent earlier this evening and it slide down the side of my ankle and cut me! Yup, I am now bleeding!
I know that my husband works hard all day and I love him dearly but sweet mother, you would think that he has two broken legs when he gets home because other than lotion Trent after his bath, he does nothing! I suppose that is how it should be but it would be nice to have some help every once in awhile!
I better go to bed right now before any of the men in my life need their butts wiped! Night!
Monday, August 5, 2013
The Mortifying Moment of the Day
Over the years, we've had friends tell us about insanely embarrassing comments that their kids have said to strangers. Perhaps the most mortifying tale came from a friend of a friend. This friend of a friend's child looked at a rather large woman and told her that her butt was on backwards. The woman asked the child what she should do about it and the little boy told her to turn it around. Yup, mortifying.
Well, Trent just embarrassed me and he didn't even mean to.
Just this afternoon, I had the baby in the Bjorn and Trent was in the cart as we walked through the grocery store. As we perused the aisles, Trent would point out various foods to me and scream the names. As I was putting some chicken into a plastic bag, he began to moo very loudly. I laughed but kept on doing what I was doing. Suddenly, Trent began to scream, "Mama, I see cow. I see cow. Moooooooo." He was so excited and pointing so vigorously that I stopped what I was doing to see what all of the fuss was about. I followed the little man's fingers and was horrified to see that he was pointing at a rather robust woman. I wanted to melt into the ground. The woman stared daggers at me and that is putting it mildly. I swatted Trent's hand down so that he would quite pointing as I tried to shush him, all the while silently blaming Mark in my head because I was sure that he was the one who taught Trent something offensive and inappropriate.
To my dismay, Trent kept moo'ing and moo'ing and moo'ing. The woman continued to stare at me like she wanted to kill me but she soon turned her cart and walked the opposite direction. I know my face was on fire and I wanted to disappear. I turned my cart the opposite direction when Trent began to scream "Mama...cow...mooooo. Mama...cow...mooo." He began to point again. I turned around and realized that he was not pointing to the woman at all. There was, in fact, a picture of a cow on one of those cardboard advertisements by the milk section. I didn't see it because the woman was standing in front of the display.
I couldn't help but laugh. I told Trent that he was right, there was a cow and he looked so pleased with himself. Apparently, all he wanted me to do was acknowledge the fact that he correctly named an animal. He began to tell me all about the eggs next as I made my way to the check out stand. I do feel horrible that the woman in the store thought my child was calling her a cow but I couldn't exactly track her down to tell her that my son was not in fact, commenting on her weight.
I can't wait to tell Mark all about our little incident when he gets home from work and I am going to have to apologize to him for silently blaming him. He didn't teach Trent anything inappropriate (at least, not this time) and Trent really did see a cow.
I am sure that there will be a day, in the not so distant future, when Trent will say something that really does embarrass me but today wasn't that day!
Now, I must go because Jagger just peed on me. Apparently, I pulled his diaper to the side as I was holding him with one arm and chicken pecking this post with my other hand because I just felt something warm running down my leg and puddling on the ground. I looked down to see the little man peeing happily while smiling at me. I am off to clean up Jagger, myself and the floor!
Well, Trent just embarrassed me and he didn't even mean to.
Just this afternoon, I had the baby in the Bjorn and Trent was in the cart as we walked through the grocery store. As we perused the aisles, Trent would point out various foods to me and scream the names. As I was putting some chicken into a plastic bag, he began to moo very loudly. I laughed but kept on doing what I was doing. Suddenly, Trent began to scream, "Mama, I see cow. I see cow. Moooooooo." He was so excited and pointing so vigorously that I stopped what I was doing to see what all of the fuss was about. I followed the little man's fingers and was horrified to see that he was pointing at a rather robust woman. I wanted to melt into the ground. The woman stared daggers at me and that is putting it mildly. I swatted Trent's hand down so that he would quite pointing as I tried to shush him, all the while silently blaming Mark in my head because I was sure that he was the one who taught Trent something offensive and inappropriate.
To my dismay, Trent kept moo'ing and moo'ing and moo'ing. The woman continued to stare at me like she wanted to kill me but she soon turned her cart and walked the opposite direction. I know my face was on fire and I wanted to disappear. I turned my cart the opposite direction when Trent began to scream "Mama...cow...mooooo. Mama...cow...mooo." He began to point again. I turned around and realized that he was not pointing to the woman at all. There was, in fact, a picture of a cow on one of those cardboard advertisements by the milk section. I didn't see it because the woman was standing in front of the display.
I couldn't help but laugh. I told Trent that he was right, there was a cow and he looked so pleased with himself. Apparently, all he wanted me to do was acknowledge the fact that he correctly named an animal. He began to tell me all about the eggs next as I made my way to the check out stand. I do feel horrible that the woman in the store thought my child was calling her a cow but I couldn't exactly track her down to tell her that my son was not in fact, commenting on her weight.
I can't wait to tell Mark all about our little incident when he gets home from work and I am going to have to apologize to him for silently blaming him. He didn't teach Trent anything inappropriate (at least, not this time) and Trent really did see a cow.
I am sure that there will be a day, in the not so distant future, when Trent will say something that really does embarrass me but today wasn't that day!
Now, I must go because Jagger just peed on me. Apparently, I pulled his diaper to the side as I was holding him with one arm and chicken pecking this post with my other hand because I just felt something warm running down my leg and puddling on the ground. I looked down to see the little man peeing happily while smiling at me. I am off to clean up Jagger, myself and the floor!
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Kisses, Cuddles and a Cry
Last Friday, I had my most favorite moment with my little Trent Monster yet.
My parents were in West Tahoe last weekend for a friend's daughter's wedding. My dad, a friend of his and the father of the bride, wanted to go fishing on our property in Truckee, so we met them up there for a quick camping trip. We also had to drop a picnic table off at the property which, by the way, is the coolest picnic table you will ever see. The middle board removes and is a cooler that you can put beer in! It's great!
Anyhow, my dad met us there on Friday, played with the kids for a bit and then went back to Squaw Valley. That night, I put Trent to bed as I always do and he was just a little cuddle monkey. He pulled me back into the cubby hole that is the bunk beds in the trailer, and pulled me down so that I would lay with him. I had to fight off my claustrophobia as I sang Trent his nightly songs and cuddled for a bit. Soon, he was asleep and I rushed to bed as well, bound and determined to get as much sleep as I could because I knew my dad would be back with his friends early the next morning. I know it makes me sound old, but we were so excited to get in bed before ten! I knew that I would get a total of 9+ hours of sleep and I couldn't wait.
A few minutes after I laid down, Trent began screaming for me. I tried to let him cry it out but he wouldn't stop calling for me and it isn't like him to cry at bedtime. So, I crawled back into the cubby hole and cuddled some more. Trent's favorite thing in the world is for me to run my fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. It will make him fall asleep instantly! I sang to him and ran my fingers through his hair and he was out like a light.
Again, I ran to my bed and was out instantly! Trent woke up screaming bloody murder at 2:30 in the morning. For the last few weeks, he has been waking up from nightmares a few times a night but he always falls back asleep on his own. Because we were in a new place, I went to his rescue. After all, his screams for "Mama, mama," over and over broke my heart.
For the third time, I crawled into bed with him and held him tight. He had large tears streaming down his face as his big brown eyes bore into mine. He was shaking from his nightmare and he pulled me down into his and repeated, "Mama, cuddle. Mama, cuddle." I pulled him into the crook of my arm, kissed the top of his head about a million times and sang softly until he calmed down which took quite awhile! He started dozing off so I began to sneak out of the bunk when suddenly, a tiny little hand grabbed my wrist. I looked at Trent and he said, "Mama, I wovvvee you." My heart just about melted. I leaned down to kiss him and he grabbed my face softly and said, "Mama, come here....cuddle." How could I resist that?!
I began to lie down AGAIN, when surprisingly, he slide his body up a bit and he grabbed my head and pulled me again his chest. I wondered what he was doing when he kept telling me in a near whisper that he wanted to cuddle. I nuzzled into his chest because that's what he was trying to get me to do, when he began to kiss my head softly and run his fingers through my hair like I always do to him. I don't know how long we stayed like that (it seemed like a long time) but I began to cry. It was just the sweetest moment that I've ever had with Trent. He continued to kiss me, cuddle me and run his fingers along my scalp until he fell asleep. Even after I could hear him snoring softly, I stayed like that, not wanting the moment to end.
Eventually, I snuck out of the bunk and made my way to my own bed. I will always cherish the tender moment that Trent and I had the other night. He was such a good boy this weekend, even when we stopped by the wedding venue to drop some stuff off for my mom and help decorate a little bit (she designed the wedding for her god daughter).
It's times like the one Trent and I had the other night that make even the worst temper tantrum worth every moment of motherhood!
My parents were in West Tahoe last weekend for a friend's daughter's wedding. My dad, a friend of his and the father of the bride, wanted to go fishing on our property in Truckee, so we met them up there for a quick camping trip. We also had to drop a picnic table off at the property which, by the way, is the coolest picnic table you will ever see. The middle board removes and is a cooler that you can put beer in! It's great!
Anyhow, my dad met us there on Friday, played with the kids for a bit and then went back to Squaw Valley. That night, I put Trent to bed as I always do and he was just a little cuddle monkey. He pulled me back into the cubby hole that is the bunk beds in the trailer, and pulled me down so that I would lay with him. I had to fight off my claustrophobia as I sang Trent his nightly songs and cuddled for a bit. Soon, he was asleep and I rushed to bed as well, bound and determined to get as much sleep as I could because I knew my dad would be back with his friends early the next morning. I know it makes me sound old, but we were so excited to get in bed before ten! I knew that I would get a total of 9+ hours of sleep and I couldn't wait.
A few minutes after I laid down, Trent began screaming for me. I tried to let him cry it out but he wouldn't stop calling for me and it isn't like him to cry at bedtime. So, I crawled back into the cubby hole and cuddled some more. Trent's favorite thing in the world is for me to run my fingers through his hair and scratch his scalp. It will make him fall asleep instantly! I sang to him and ran my fingers through his hair and he was out like a light.
Again, I ran to my bed and was out instantly! Trent woke up screaming bloody murder at 2:30 in the morning. For the last few weeks, he has been waking up from nightmares a few times a night but he always falls back asleep on his own. Because we were in a new place, I went to his rescue. After all, his screams for "Mama, mama," over and over broke my heart.
For the third time, I crawled into bed with him and held him tight. He had large tears streaming down his face as his big brown eyes bore into mine. He was shaking from his nightmare and he pulled me down into his and repeated, "Mama, cuddle. Mama, cuddle." I pulled him into the crook of my arm, kissed the top of his head about a million times and sang softly until he calmed down which took quite awhile! He started dozing off so I began to sneak out of the bunk when suddenly, a tiny little hand grabbed my wrist. I looked at Trent and he said, "Mama, I wovvvee you." My heart just about melted. I leaned down to kiss him and he grabbed my face softly and said, "Mama, come here....cuddle." How could I resist that?!
I began to lie down AGAIN, when surprisingly, he slide his body up a bit and he grabbed my head and pulled me again his chest. I wondered what he was doing when he kept telling me in a near whisper that he wanted to cuddle. I nuzzled into his chest because that's what he was trying to get me to do, when he began to kiss my head softly and run his fingers through my hair like I always do to him. I don't know how long we stayed like that (it seemed like a long time) but I began to cry. It was just the sweetest moment that I've ever had with Trent. He continued to kiss me, cuddle me and run his fingers along my scalp until he fell asleep. Even after I could hear him snoring softly, I stayed like that, not wanting the moment to end.
Eventually, I snuck out of the bunk and made my way to my own bed. I will always cherish the tender moment that Trent and I had the other night. He was such a good boy this weekend, even when we stopped by the wedding venue to drop some stuff off for my mom and help decorate a little bit (she designed the wedding for her god daughter).
It's times like the one Trent and I had the other night that make even the worst temper tantrum worth every moment of motherhood!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
I Could Kill My Husband!
I could kill my husband...or, at least, give him a good slap!
I kid...I kid...I would never smack anyone but I would contemplate it if Mark were home right now.
I was putting the baby's clothes away in the nursery and when I walked back into the family room, I was shocked to see this...
I kid...I kid...I would never smack anyone but I would contemplate it if Mark were home right now.
I was putting the baby's clothes away in the nursery and when I walked back into the family room, I was shocked to see this...
The pictures do not do the mess justice!
Yup, those are beads. A whopping 3,000 beads to be exact. These beads were from a little craft that I bought from Michael's to make with Trent. When I have worked on the craft with Trent, I give him about 5 beads at a time. Not Mark....oh no!! Mark gives Trent the entire package!
After I saw the mess Trent had made, I texted Mark and asked if he really gave Trent 3,000 beads to play with (I keep them safely locked away in the office) and his response was, "No. Trent grabbed them himself." I promptly responded, "You could have taken the beads away from him." I then texted him a picture of the mess Trent created. And I had to laugh at Mark's response because he said, "But he was playing so nicely." I screamed at the text message, "How long do you think a 2 year old can play nicely with 3,000 beads?!"
Trent was so proud of himself. Not only had he dumped all of the beads on the floor but he started kicking the beads furiously so they rolled all over the house...under the couch, the cabinets, you name it...there are beads.
It took me 45 minutes to pick up the beads that I can reach. I now have to take the couch apart and move furniture to get the rest of them. Needless to say, that craft project is now in the garbage. I am not risking this happening again!
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
The Yellow River- Beware: Nasty Pictures Inside
My little Jagger turned 3 months old last week and he is just the happiest little guy. He smiles constantly and sleeps 8 hours a night. We are so lucky to be blessed with such a good baby.
Little Jag just started to go in his Bumbo this week and every time he sits in it, he poops which is good because he goes days and days between poo's.
Just a few minutes ago, I put him in his seat so that I could put the groceries away. As soon as I closed the fridge door I heard Trent say, "Oh no! Poo poo yucky." I whipped my head around and instantly saw what he was talking about. There was a yellow, poo river flowing down the side of the Bumbo and Jagger could not look more pleased with himself. Naturally, I had to take a picture before I cleaned everything up.
Oh, the life of a mom! It's a lot of cleaning up pee and poo which I am not a fan of, but there's even more hugging and kissing which I love!
On another note, Trent is on fire with the potty training! He wears his big boy underwear all day except at night and he even went number two on the potty twice this week although he hated it and screamed bloody murder the entire time! I am so proud of him!
Little Jag just started to go in his Bumbo this week and every time he sits in it, he poops which is good because he goes days and days between poo's.
Just a few minutes ago, I put him in his seat so that I could put the groceries away. As soon as I closed the fridge door I heard Trent say, "Oh no! Poo poo yucky." I whipped my head around and instantly saw what he was talking about. There was a yellow, poo river flowing down the side of the Bumbo and Jagger could not look more pleased with himself. Naturally, I had to take a picture before I cleaned everything up.
Here are his 3 month shots
Oh, the life of a mom! It's a lot of cleaning up pee and poo which I am not a fan of, but there's even more hugging and kissing which I love!
On another note, Trent is on fire with the potty training! He wears his big boy underwear all day except at night and he even went number two on the potty twice this week although he hated it and screamed bloody murder the entire time! I am so proud of him!
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Mark's Big Head
It is a big day for my husband...he is picking up his big 'ol animal mount...that's right...today he is bringing home a large antelope head and I am not excited about it one bit.
Last year, Mark drew an antelope tag so he and my dad went hunting in Northern Nevada. While there, Mark shot and killed a record antelope. Although I do not agree with hunting (even though I grew up in a house full of hunters), I was happy that he made it into a hunting magazine because he was just so proud of himself. Being that it was a record antelope, Mark decided to get the head mounted and it has taken over a year to get it back. I don't have the heart to tell him that it wouldn't break my heart if the head was somehow lost in the process :)
Over the last year, Mark has told me that he is mounting that head in the house. My response has typically been something to the effect of, "That's not happening." My mother never let my dad mount his dead animal heads in the house. She always told him that that is what the garage is for. I tried to tell Mark that he can put his big' ol head in the garage as well but he is not backing down!
After mulling things over, I've decided not to fight him on it. After all, he spoils me rotten and he works his you know what off so he deserves to show off his head with pride I suppose. I will not however, let him mount it where he wants to which is right above the television. The last thing I want staring at me creepily with its glass eyes when I'm watching T.V. is a horned stuffed animal head. The man will have to find somewhere else to put his treasure!
Mark just walked in from work, proudly carrying his big head. He immediately placed it on the wall next to the television and I promptly vetoed that idea. We agreed on the dining room. It's not exactly what I want to stare at when I am eating a nice meal but considering that we use that room like once a year, it will do.
Mark mounted it on the wall and it looks like this:
Needless to say, it has been an exiting two days for my husband! Yesterday, the 2014 Rzr's were revealed and considering that I did in fact total ours, he was very excited to see what the new ones looked like. Although he immediately fell in love with the new model, there isn't a four seater so it looks like we are getting a 2013 this week. And now, he has his head! I'm not sure he can handle this much excitement in one week!
Last year, Mark drew an antelope tag so he and my dad went hunting in Northern Nevada. While there, Mark shot and killed a record antelope. Although I do not agree with hunting (even though I grew up in a house full of hunters), I was happy that he made it into a hunting magazine because he was just so proud of himself. Being that it was a record antelope, Mark decided to get the head mounted and it has taken over a year to get it back. I don't have the heart to tell him that it wouldn't break my heart if the head was somehow lost in the process :)
Over the last year, Mark has told me that he is mounting that head in the house. My response has typically been something to the effect of, "That's not happening." My mother never let my dad mount his dead animal heads in the house. She always told him that that is what the garage is for. I tried to tell Mark that he can put his big' ol head in the garage as well but he is not backing down!
After mulling things over, I've decided not to fight him on it. After all, he spoils me rotten and he works his you know what off so he deserves to show off his head with pride I suppose. I will not however, let him mount it where he wants to which is right above the television. The last thing I want staring at me creepily with its glass eyes when I'm watching T.V. is a horned stuffed animal head. The man will have to find somewhere else to put his treasure!
Mark just walked in from work, proudly carrying his big head. He immediately placed it on the wall next to the television and I promptly vetoed that idea. We agreed on the dining room. It's not exactly what I want to stare at when I am eating a nice meal but considering that we use that room like once a year, it will do.
Mark mounted it on the wall and it looks like this:
Trent keeps saying that the head is cute!
Even the baby liked the head!
The fun didn't stop there. Oh no, Mark had to nail the plaque in the wall with the animal's measurements on it as well!
Needless to say, it has been an exiting two days for my husband! Yesterday, the 2014 Rzr's were revealed and considering that I did in fact total ours, he was very excited to see what the new ones looked like. Although he immediately fell in love with the new model, there isn't a four seater so it looks like we are getting a 2013 this week. And now, he has his head! I'm not sure he can handle this much excitement in one week!
Monday, July 29, 2013
Trent Peed out an Apple!
Trent peed out an apple today...at least, that's what he thinks he did.
Let me preface this story with a story of my own from childhood. Once, my family was camping and my little brother had to poop. My dad took him into the woods, pulled down his pants and told him to push. Well, apparently my brother went number two on a spoon that someone carelessly left on the ground. When my brother was done with his business, my dad told him to look down and check out what he pushed out. I am sure that Gabe was astonished to discover that he pooped out a spoon! My dad teased him about that for years and I think that he probably believed it until he got older and understood that that just wasn't possible.
Back to today. Trent came running up to me screaming that he had to poo. He had a mouthful of apple at the time so some of it sprayed me as he screamed excitedly. I grabbed his hand and we ran to the bathroom.
I plopped him down on the seat (he'll only pee standing up if he's outside and Mark tells him to go on a tree). As Trent pushed, he started to scream, "Yay, I pee pee on the potty!" and as he did so, a large piece of the apple he was eating fell from his mouth and landed on the tip of his pecker. He was so excited to be going potty that he didn't even realize he was spitting out his apple. After he was all done, I told him to look down at his junk which he promptly did. He saw the apple skin sitting on his pecker and his big brown eyes were as large as saucers when he looked at me in astonishment. I couldn't help but laugh as I told him that he peed out his apple! He continued to stare at me as he whispered, "I pee pee an apple?" I couldn't help but tell him that he did and now he is running out of the house shouting to the rooftop that he peed out an apple!
That silly little boy! I can't help but laugh at his cuteness and at the fact that I am pulling the same jokes on my kid that my dad did on my brothers and I!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Trent's First Movie Experience
When we were in the Bay Area meeting our new nephew last weekend, Mark and I decided to spend some alone time with Trent since we haven't done anything with him by himself since the baby was born. So, we took him to the movie theatre to see Despicable Me 2. I thought that he would love to spend some time with his mom and dad watching the sequel to his second favorite movie. The first being Hop with James Mardsen, but fair warning, that movie did teach Trent two annoying habits: kicking and hitting. I'll quickly explain...
The little sister in Hop gets mad that her brother stole her spotlight so she kicks him in the shin, and every time Trent sees her kick Mr. Mardsen's character, Fred, he runs over to me and kicks me in the shin! Also, if I am holding him, he sometimes takes his little palms and taps my cheeks like the bunny does to Fred when he is pretending to be a mechanical stuffed animal. It is quite annoying. It is amazing what his little brain picks up from various movies! He learned to screech from Finding Nemo (when the little girl is in the dentist office), hit and kick from Hop, and biting from Hotel Transylvania. Needless to say, these "kid" movies are bad influences!
Anyhow, sorry for the transgression...back to Trent's first movie experience. We got to the theatre about ten minutes before the movie was supposed to start and then there was like fifteen minutes of previews, so the little man had already been sitting for nearly a half hour before the movie even began! The entire time, he sat in his chair like a big boy and inhaled popcorn like it was his last meal.
Once he saw Gru on the big screen he became so excited that he began to scream and clap excitedly. Luckily the theatre was full of kids, many of whom were doing the exact same thing. Trent continued to sit in his chair like a good boy until an octopus came on the screen. Let me just tell you, he loves all animals, especially those eight (I think) legged creatures. There is only one problem...he can't really say the word 'octopus' properly. He whispers 'oct' and then shouts 'pus' at the top of his lungs. It is quite embarrassing. His pronunciation of the word 'clock' is also mortifying because he drops the 'l.' He feels the need to point out every clock he sees, so whenever we are running errands and he sees a clock, he shouts, "Mama, mama. I see a __ (you get the idea)!. Yikes!
Anyhow, if I had known that the movie was going to have an underwater adventure in it, I would have thought twice about taking the Trent Monster for fear that he would shout out each marine animal that he saw which is exactly what he did in the theatre. He screamed 'fish' and 'shark' and when that darn octopus came onto the screen, he jumped up from his chair and screamed 'pus' at the top of his lungs not once, not twice, but three times! Good thing the theatre was dark because I am quite sure that my cheeks were a nice shade of crimson. Mark and I simply looked at each other and laughed because Trent was so excited! Fortunately, many of the other parents' laughed at well.
About an hour and twenty minutes after we first sat down in the chair, Trent decided that he no longer wanted to sit and he was ready to go so that is exactly what we did. We did not want to ruin the movie for anyone else so we left before he got grumpy.
Although we didn't get to see how the movie ended, I was quite proud of Trent. All in all, he was a very good boy despite the little embarrassing shouting incident! We can't wait to take him to see Monsters University next! If we get there right when the movie starts, I think we can make it through the whole thing!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
My Son...the Vampire
Over the last few days, my son has decided that he is a vampire. I am not quite sure where he got it from but has officially entered the biting stage. In fact, he bite Mark in the balls.
Yes, you heard that right. Trent leaned in, open mouthed and chomped down on Mark's nuts as Mark stood unsuspectingly in the kitchen, filling me in on his work day.
Before I knew what was happening, Trent's little body flew back and he landed with a thud on his behind. Not surprisingly, Trent erupted into his ear shattering screams as I frantically asked Mark what the hell happened. I ran to Trent, scooped him into my arms and began comforting him as Mark screamed, "He bit me in the nuts." Dumbfounded, I said, "He WHAT?" Mark screamed, "He tried to bite my junk off," as he stood in the kitchen, hunched over, with both hands grabbing his package.
What did I do? I burst out laughing of course! What else was I supposed to do? I held the screaming Trent in my arms, swaying back and forth and laughed my bloody head off despite the death looks Mark was flashing my way. Actually, I was even slightly annoyed at Mark for having pushed Trent so hard that he fell on the ground and I even told him so. Mark promptly told me that it was just his reflexes freeing his manhood from imminent harm. Again, I laughed.
Well, as they say, karma is a bitch because the little bugger ran up to me yesterday, arms open wide as he said, "Mama, hug. Mama kiss." I scooped him in my arms ready for the love that he so obviously wanted to show me. He leaned back, grabbed my face and placed a big ol smacker right on my lips. I said, "Oh, Trent, Mommy loves when you give me kisses and hugs." He smiled back brightly and again said, "Mama, I hug." He wrapped his skinny little arms around my neck tightly and snuggled into my neck. I was on cloud nine. I smiled and hugged him tightly when suddenly, I felt his little chompers on the skin of my shoulder and he bit me. The little bugger bit me! I put him on the ground and sternly told him that he cannot bit people. He looked at me, laughed mischievously and then charged me like a bull with his mouth wide open. He tried to bite me again! I pushed him away only be charged a second time.
Many of my friends children have gone through the biting stage and I was hoping to avoid it but apparently, that is not going to happen. My only guess as to where Trent learned how to bit is from me! When I play with him, I often take him in my arms, lie him horizontally and nibble on his ribcage while saying, "I am going to chomp on you like a chicken bone!" It makes him laugh hysterically but that type of play time is no more! I need to nip this biting before it gets any more serious!
I know that some of you may be thinking that my child is horrible. He is not, I assure you. Most of the time he is a lovable little man but the times that he kisses or hugs me are not nearly as entertaining to relay.
Yes, you heard that right. Trent leaned in, open mouthed and chomped down on Mark's nuts as Mark stood unsuspectingly in the kitchen, filling me in on his work day.
Before I knew what was happening, Trent's little body flew back and he landed with a thud on his behind. Not surprisingly, Trent erupted into his ear shattering screams as I frantically asked Mark what the hell happened. I ran to Trent, scooped him into my arms and began comforting him as Mark screamed, "He bit me in the nuts." Dumbfounded, I said, "He WHAT?" Mark screamed, "He tried to bite my junk off," as he stood in the kitchen, hunched over, with both hands grabbing his package.
What did I do? I burst out laughing of course! What else was I supposed to do? I held the screaming Trent in my arms, swaying back and forth and laughed my bloody head off despite the death looks Mark was flashing my way. Actually, I was even slightly annoyed at Mark for having pushed Trent so hard that he fell on the ground and I even told him so. Mark promptly told me that it was just his reflexes freeing his manhood from imminent harm. Again, I laughed.
Well, as they say, karma is a bitch because the little bugger ran up to me yesterday, arms open wide as he said, "Mama, hug. Mama kiss." I scooped him in my arms ready for the love that he so obviously wanted to show me. He leaned back, grabbed my face and placed a big ol smacker right on my lips. I said, "Oh, Trent, Mommy loves when you give me kisses and hugs." He smiled back brightly and again said, "Mama, I hug." He wrapped his skinny little arms around my neck tightly and snuggled into my neck. I was on cloud nine. I smiled and hugged him tightly when suddenly, I felt his little chompers on the skin of my shoulder and he bit me. The little bugger bit me! I put him on the ground and sternly told him that he cannot bit people. He looked at me, laughed mischievously and then charged me like a bull with his mouth wide open. He tried to bite me again! I pushed him away only be charged a second time.
Many of my friends children have gone through the biting stage and I was hoping to avoid it but apparently, that is not going to happen. My only guess as to where Trent learned how to bit is from me! When I play with him, I often take him in my arms, lie him horizontally and nibble on his ribcage while saying, "I am going to chomp on you like a chicken bone!" It makes him laugh hysterically but that type of play time is no more! I need to nip this biting before it gets any more serious!
I know that some of you may be thinking that my child is horrible. He is not, I assure you. Most of the time he is a lovable little man but the times that he kisses or hugs me are not nearly as entertaining to relay.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Insanity Day 3: Depends May be Purchased
I could barely walk the day after I started my Insanity routine. My thighs were sore and my calves were so tight that I feared they would spasm into the dreaded "Charlie Horse" at any moment. I was so sore but it was the good kind of sore that you can only get from working out.
Day 2 of the work out was very difficult but I managed to get through it without taking too many breaks. There was however, a small problem and I cannot believe that I am actually admitting this, but I am having a leakage issue. I know, I know...I tend to over-share but that is just who I am!
If you follow my blog, you know that while pregnant, I have complained of dribbling a bit whenever I sneezed or coughed. Unfortunately, you mother's out there know that this embarrassing little side-effect does not stop once you pop that baby out. Oh no...you continue to sporadically pee yourself when you cough or sneeze. Most of the time however, I can feel it coming on so I can consciously close my legs tightly and not have an accident. Let me back peddle a bit by saying that I do not full on pee my pants but, occasionally, there is an issue of leakage. Oh, the joys of carrying eight pound babies.
Anyhow, as I mentioned before, there is an obscene amount of jumping in the Insanity workouts. The first day, there was a lot of little hopping around but on the second day of Insanity, there was a ton of large jumps. I am sure you can see where I am going with this....all of that damn jumping may be great for getting my legs and butt in shape but it does nothing for my bladder muscles, let me tell ya. I had to take a break because I thought that I was going to pee my pants and I just had to laugh out loud. I remember my mother complaining of this issue when I was little and now, here I am, in the exact same position! Dang do I feel old!
Hopefully, I do not have to purchase Depends in the near future but if there is as much hopping, skipping or jumping in the upcoming routines that I have yet to try than there has been in these last two days, this purchase may be a distinct possibility! Yikes!
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
The Creepiness of Sesame Street
My little Trent Monster LOVES Sesame Street. He is addicted. He would watch it all day if I let him! He typically watches an episode when he eats his breakfast and I hate to admit it, but I usually put another episode on for him when I cook dinner so as to keep the little man occupied.
Needless to say, I have watched a lot of stinking episodes over the last year or so. Unfortunately, I have most of the episodes memorized. Since Jagger has been born, I have been relegated to sitting on the couch nursing and watching Sesame Street and as such, I have decided that two of the character get on my nerves like no other.
The first is the man who plays Alan. There is an episode that some of you mom's might remember that is about making a strong basket for Little Red Riding Hood's grandma. If you know which episode I am talking about, you probably know the line from the episode that makes me want to stuff cotton balls in my ears and that is when Alan screams, "I've got a basket of goodies for you, Grandma." I get the heeby jeebies just thinking about it. Funny thing is that a few weeks ago, I went to put on an episode from the DVR for Trent and when I selected the basket episode Mark screamed, "Nooooooo. I can't stand when Alan screams that he has a basket for the Grandma." I find comfort in knowing that I am not the only person who cannot stand this episode. In fact, I would be thrilled if I never saw this episode again. Unfortunately, it is one of Trent's favorites so I have a feeling that I might be stuffing ear plugs in my ears shortly.
The second character that drives me up the wall is Chris. I imagine that he is a perfectly nice gentleman in real life but every time he dances in what can only be described as a really bad rendition of the "Carlton," I fear that my eyeballs will bleed. In fact, watching his creepy little dance really gives me the herby jeebies. Mark, too, has commented on how creepy Chris's dancing is and without any prompting on my part for him to do so. The combination of Chris balling his fists up really tight and twirling said fists into tight circles while shimmying his shoulders and hips furiously all while his mouth gapes open is creepy beyond words.
I love Trent so much that I am willing to have my eyes and ears bleed from watching and listening to his favorite show but the second he starts dancing like Chris, the kid is cut off! There will be no more Sesame Street in his future the minute that happens, let me tell you!
Monday, July 22, 2013
Day 1 of Insanity: My Near-Death Experience
The countdown is on: there is only about 3 1/2 months left until my little brothers wedding and I have begun to panic. Operation lose weight and get toned has officially begun. After all, I have to look good in my bridesmaid dress!
After I had Trent, I lost the baby weight by doing P90x before my older brother's wedding last summer. This time, I have decided to try Insanity and today was my first day. Holy you know what....that crap is hard!
Let me start out by saying that the "warm-up" kicked my ass all by itself. Let me also say that I am glad no one was around to see the mess that I was during that work out. First off, my boobs are insanely, ridiculously ginormous right now since I am nursing, so every time I jumped in the air, and there is an ungodly amount of jumping, I could feel my boobs lift off of my body and slap back down. There was even a slapping noise to accompany my boobs flopping off my chest despite the fact that I was wearing a sports bra. I could see my reflection in the television and let me just say that it was not a very pretty sight.
Halfway through the work out, I was feeling quite light headed and I was panting like a fat kid running after an ice cream truck. Needless to say, I was elated when Jagger woke up to eat because that meant I could take a break. I firmly believe that his waking up to nurse saved my life...or at least, he saved my fat behind from blacking out from exhaustion.
After I nursed the baby and put him down, I resumed the work out which was insanely hard. I now know why the workout is called Insanity! I cannot believe that Trent did not wake up from his nap since my jumping around the family room sounded like an elephant running through the house. I may not have completed every rep that the crazy instructor did, but I did complete the workout. I have a feeling that my legs will feel like jello later but I know that it will be worth it.
Now all I want is an Oreo cookie from the box that I bought today for Trent's "poop on the potty" reward but I will refrain. Instead, I am going to grab an apple and get Trentster up from his nap.
Hopefully, I am able to walk tomorrow and complete Day 2 of the workout. I think that I will double up on bra's tomorrow and hopefully that will help the flopping and slapping around! I'll let you know how tomorrow goes!
After I had Trent, I lost the baby weight by doing P90x before my older brother's wedding last summer. This time, I have decided to try Insanity and today was my first day. Holy you know what....that crap is hard!
Let me start out by saying that the "warm-up" kicked my ass all by itself. Let me also say that I am glad no one was around to see the mess that I was during that work out. First off, my boobs are insanely, ridiculously ginormous right now since I am nursing, so every time I jumped in the air, and there is an ungodly amount of jumping, I could feel my boobs lift off of my body and slap back down. There was even a slapping noise to accompany my boobs flopping off my chest despite the fact that I was wearing a sports bra. I could see my reflection in the television and let me just say that it was not a very pretty sight.
Halfway through the work out, I was feeling quite light headed and I was panting like a fat kid running after an ice cream truck. Needless to say, I was elated when Jagger woke up to eat because that meant I could take a break. I firmly believe that his waking up to nurse saved my life...or at least, he saved my fat behind from blacking out from exhaustion.
After I nursed the baby and put him down, I resumed the work out which was insanely hard. I now know why the workout is called Insanity! I cannot believe that Trent did not wake up from his nap since my jumping around the family room sounded like an elephant running through the house. I may not have completed every rep that the crazy instructor did, but I did complete the workout. I have a feeling that my legs will feel like jello later but I know that it will be worth it.
Now all I want is an Oreo cookie from the box that I bought today for Trent's "poop on the potty" reward but I will refrain. Instead, I am going to grab an apple and get Trentster up from his nap.
Hopefully, I am able to walk tomorrow and complete Day 2 of the workout. I think that I will double up on bra's tomorrow and hopefully that will help the flopping and slapping around! I'll let you know how tomorrow goes!
My Nephew Has Arrived!
My nephew, Mateo Raul, has made his debut into the world!
As some of you may know, my older brother, Raul, married my oldest friend in the world, Tami, last June and on Sunday, July 14th, they welcomed their son Mateo. Teo, as he will be called, weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and unlike my chunky monkey, Jagger, Teo is just the tiniest little thing you have ever seen! I went to the Bay Area last week to meet my nephew for the first time and I just fell in love with that little peanut. I predicted that he was going to be a little brown baby, much like my brother, but to my surprise, he is very fair skinned and has very light brown hair. He is adorable!
After a very lonnnnnnnng labor, mother and baby are doing great. Here are some pics from my visit. The boys and I stayed at my parents for a few days while the hubby stayed home to work. He made it down late Friday night and unfortunately, he was unable to meet Mateo himself because Trent Monster decided to run a very high fever and we didn't want to risk getting the baby sick since he is a few weeks early.
As some of you may know, my older brother, Raul, married my oldest friend in the world, Tami, last June and on Sunday, July 14th, they welcomed their son Mateo. Teo, as he will be called, weighed 6 pounds 6 ounces and unlike my chunky monkey, Jagger, Teo is just the tiniest little thing you have ever seen! I went to the Bay Area last week to meet my nephew for the first time and I just fell in love with that little peanut. I predicted that he was going to be a little brown baby, much like my brother, but to my surprise, he is very fair skinned and has very light brown hair. He is adorable!
After a very lonnnnnnnng labor, mother and baby are doing great. Here are some pics from my visit. The boys and I stayed at my parents for a few days while the hubby stayed home to work. He made it down late Friday night and unfortunately, he was unable to meet Mateo himself because Trent Monster decided to run a very high fever and we didn't want to risk getting the baby sick since he is a few weeks early.
Mom and Baby
Sleepy Little Bug
Uncle Gabe stopped by for a quick hello
Jag swimming for the first time with my dad
Trent laughing at my dad falling in the pool
Jagger hanging with my brother's soon-to-be wife who bought him that onesie.
Aunt Tanya holding the chunkster. She got quite the arm work out carrying him around :)
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Fourth of July Fun!
We are just now decompressing from our Fourth of July camping trip! It was our longest trip up at Truckee yet and we had a great time, even if Trent came home with scrapes, bruises and about 15 mosquito bites while Mark and I came home with sore necks and backs.
We arrived at our camping spot on Wednesday evening and we were the only people in the back of the camp so it was totally serene and quiet. We woke up early on the fourth and went down to the lake. Again, we were the only people on the lake and it was beautiful! The scenery was gorgeous and so peaceful. Mark and Trent caught their limit in fish and Trent had a great time helping Mark reel the fish in. And Jagger...well he barely makes a peep! He is now sleeping 7 hours a night and he is the happiest baby around!
We barbecued with Mark's aunt and uncle that evening and had lots of laughs but we we always do...they are hilarious to be around. Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the top of the mountain to watch the fireworks over Donner Lake because we were just too tired and let's face it, Jagger is too little to trek up the mountain.
Mark's mom and brother came up to camp on Friday so Mark and I were able to take our Rzr out for a ride while the kids napped and grandma watched them. Mark's uncle showed us a new, and probably the best trail we've been on yet. We had a great time exploring the area and listening to music.
We originally planned to come home on Saturday but because Mark's mom came up and stayed with us, we stayed through the weekend. It turns out, we should have went home on Saturday anyway because we had a little accident that day....
Mark is normally the one who mobs the Rzr around because he is so good at it! Me...not so much. My hands barely reach the steering wheel and only my toes touch the pedals. Anyhow, Mark wanted me to drive him around for once. He even encouraged me by saying that I would never learn to drive well in our toy if I didn't practice. I told him several times that I didn't want to because I couldn't drive it well but he pumped me up and I caved. Turns out, I should have listened to my instincts! And no, I am not blaming him for my crashing because I could have refused to drive but I didn't. Anyhow, I took a corner too fast coming down the mountain that overlooks Donner Lake and I ran into quite the boulder. The front passenger side hit very hard but thank goodness we were in our harnesses because it could have been ugly. My little accident resulted in a severely bent frame and sore bodies all around.
Can I tell you how great my husband is? He didn't even get mad at me for wrecking his favorite toy! He simply hugged me and said he couldn't stand to see my dirt streaked face! I started crying immediately after we crashed because let's face it, it scared the you know what out of me! I was relieved to not have overcorrected and catapulted us down the other side of the mountain. Apparently, my tears made streaks down my face which was covered in dust from riding the trails. Mark simply told me that the worst that could happen is that the insurance totals it and we get a new one and that he was glad we were okay! Simply put, he is the best.
The Rzr is at the shop now and it doesn't look good. Apparently, they think it looks totaled but we'll have to wait and see.
Lesson learned from our little trip...we are not eighteen anymore, our bodies don't bounce back like they used to and we have two kids now so we need to act more responsibly and not drive so fast!
Regardless, we had a great and relaxing holiday. Trent loved playing in the dirt and fishing. Mark also loved playing in the dirt and fishing as well! Here are a few pictures from our trip.
We arrived at our camping spot on Wednesday evening and we were the only people in the back of the camp so it was totally serene and quiet. We woke up early on the fourth and went down to the lake. Again, we were the only people on the lake and it was beautiful! The scenery was gorgeous and so peaceful. Mark and Trent caught their limit in fish and Trent had a great time helping Mark reel the fish in. And Jagger...well he barely makes a peep! He is now sleeping 7 hours a night and he is the happiest baby around!
We barbecued with Mark's aunt and uncle that evening and had lots of laughs but we we always do...they are hilarious to be around. Unfortunately, we didn't make it to the top of the mountain to watch the fireworks over Donner Lake because we were just too tired and let's face it, Jagger is too little to trek up the mountain.
Mark's mom and brother came up to camp on Friday so Mark and I were able to take our Rzr out for a ride while the kids napped and grandma watched them. Mark's uncle showed us a new, and probably the best trail we've been on yet. We had a great time exploring the area and listening to music.
We originally planned to come home on Saturday but because Mark's mom came up and stayed with us, we stayed through the weekend. It turns out, we should have went home on Saturday anyway because we had a little accident that day....
Mark is normally the one who mobs the Rzr around because he is so good at it! Me...not so much. My hands barely reach the steering wheel and only my toes touch the pedals. Anyhow, Mark wanted me to drive him around for once. He even encouraged me by saying that I would never learn to drive well in our toy if I didn't practice. I told him several times that I didn't want to because I couldn't drive it well but he pumped me up and I caved. Turns out, I should have listened to my instincts! And no, I am not blaming him for my crashing because I could have refused to drive but I didn't. Anyhow, I took a corner too fast coming down the mountain that overlooks Donner Lake and I ran into quite the boulder. The front passenger side hit very hard but thank goodness we were in our harnesses because it could have been ugly. My little accident resulted in a severely bent frame and sore bodies all around.
Can I tell you how great my husband is? He didn't even get mad at me for wrecking his favorite toy! He simply hugged me and said he couldn't stand to see my dirt streaked face! I started crying immediately after we crashed because let's face it, it scared the you know what out of me! I was relieved to not have overcorrected and catapulted us down the other side of the mountain. Apparently, my tears made streaks down my face which was covered in dust from riding the trails. Mark simply told me that the worst that could happen is that the insurance totals it and we get a new one and that he was glad we were okay! Simply put, he is the best.
The Rzr is at the shop now and it doesn't look good. Apparently, they think it looks totaled but we'll have to wait and see.
Lesson learned from our little trip...we are not eighteen anymore, our bodies don't bounce back like they used to and we have two kids now so we need to act more responsibly and not drive so fast!
Regardless, we had a great and relaxing holiday. Trent loved playing in the dirt and fishing. Mark also loved playing in the dirt and fishing as well! Here are a few pictures from our trip.
Trent, admiring the view
First cast and fish of the day
Trent hanging out on Uncle Tim and Aunt Sheryl's toy
Trent, waiting to eat
Happiest baby on the block (and his first mohawk)
Uncle Tim and Jagger
Chunky monkey
Just hanging out.
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
The Case of the Vanishing Turd
The strangest thing just happened...
Trent is still pooping in the Pull Up that he wears during his nap. As usual, I sat him on the potty before I put down in his bed and tried to get him to poop to no avail. So, I put his Pull Up on his and put him to bed and turned on the video monitor. Like clockwork, the second I shut the door, I can hear him pushing and grunting through the monitor. I let him finish and then went back in his room to change him.
Now, here's where it gets interesting...
I put Trent back to bed and then walked over to the changing table where I then meticulously wrapped his golf ball sized turd (he clearly needs to consume more water today) in his diaper. Suddenly, my dog, Blue, barked from behind me which made me turn around and jump. As I did so, the turd flew out of the diaper but I spun so quickly, I didn't see where it went! The diaper felt lighter so I checked it to make sure that the turd was in fact, gone and it was. The diaper was turd free. I glanced around the room and didn't see the missing piece of poop.
I then dropped to my hands and knees and searched every square inch of that room and I could not, for the life of me, find the missing poo! The entire time I searched, Trent was staring at me and saying his standard remark after he poops, "Poo poo is yucky." I searched under the dresser, the crib, inside the crib, etc. but that darn thing is gone!
The only thing I can think of is that Blue quickly inhaled it much like my parent's dog ate Trent's poop that one time I blogged about months ago. I guess it's pay back because that turd has vanished! I will search one more time once Trent wakes up from his nap but for now, I have deemed the incident "the case of the vanishing turd." Detective Tianna is on the matter and I am bound and determined to solve this darn mystery!
Trent is still pooping in the Pull Up that he wears during his nap. As usual, I sat him on the potty before I put down in his bed and tried to get him to poop to no avail. So, I put his Pull Up on his and put him to bed and turned on the video monitor. Like clockwork, the second I shut the door, I can hear him pushing and grunting through the monitor. I let him finish and then went back in his room to change him.
Now, here's where it gets interesting...
I put Trent back to bed and then walked over to the changing table where I then meticulously wrapped his golf ball sized turd (he clearly needs to consume more water today) in his diaper. Suddenly, my dog, Blue, barked from behind me which made me turn around and jump. As I did so, the turd flew out of the diaper but I spun so quickly, I didn't see where it went! The diaper felt lighter so I checked it to make sure that the turd was in fact, gone and it was. The diaper was turd free. I glanced around the room and didn't see the missing piece of poop.
I then dropped to my hands and knees and searched every square inch of that room and I could not, for the life of me, find the missing poo! The entire time I searched, Trent was staring at me and saying his standard remark after he poops, "Poo poo is yucky." I searched under the dresser, the crib, inside the crib, etc. but that darn thing is gone!
The only thing I can think of is that Blue quickly inhaled it much like my parent's dog ate Trent's poop that one time I blogged about months ago. I guess it's pay back because that turd has vanished! I will search one more time once Trent wakes up from his nap but for now, I have deemed the incident "the case of the vanishing turd." Detective Tianna is on the matter and I am bound and determined to solve this darn mystery!
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