We Have a Floater

It is a day that every parent dreads...the day your child takes a big old crap in the bathtub and it just happened to us.

When Trent was little, he accidentally let a turd flow out in the tub a time or two. It was disgusting. It was messy. It basically consisted of me spotting the poop, screaming my head off for Mark while holding a wet, slippery child over the tub and Mark coming to the rescue with a bottle of bleach in one hand and a scrub brush in the other. Luckily, we haven't had that scene play out in our home in quite some time...until Monday night.

Although Jagger can sit up on his own in the tub and be safe doing so, we still put him in the infant tub inside of the big tub because the boys bath together and I am afraid that Trent will knock the baby over like he typically does when he hugs him a million times a day. So, the infant tub is in the big tub. Trent baths and plays on his side and Jagger baths and plays in his tub. On Monday night, after Trent was out of the tub and drying off, I took the baby out, wrapped him in a towel, opened the main drain and then dumped the water from the infant tub into the big tub. As I stood up with the baby, I saw it. A Milky Way looking turd floating down the tub before it began to circle the drain. I screamed.

Mark comes running to my rescue and I can't help but laugh. Thankfully, Trent was already out of the tub because I have no doubt that kid would have picked up that turd and smeared it on the wall thinking it was paint or something and then we would have had to battle his playing with poop all over again (for those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you know what I am talking about)! Mark confirmed that it was in fact a turd and being the kick ass husband that he is, he picked up the poop and then cleaned the tub while I slathered lotion on and dressed the kids.

We survived our first bath time poo and I am sure that it will not be the last time.

On another note, this is probably a story that I shouldn't write about (so, naturally, I am going to do just that) but it is too funny to keep all to myself. Last night, Trent came running out of his room sans underwear and pants and proudly screaming that he peed in froggy potty (why he went from going in the regular toilet to the kid one, I haven't a clue). I gave him a high five and got up to dump the pee in the big toilet but Trent beat me to it.

As I rounded the corner, he had the bucket portion of the frog toilet in one hand while he was lifting the seat cover with the other. He looked at me and said, "Mommy, I dump it," as he proceeded to  cock his arm back like a pitcher and throw the contents of the potty all over the bathroom wall. He looked at the wall, looked at me, and then looked in the big toilet before screaming, "See, Mommy, I did it!" I glanced in the toilet to see the tiniest speck of yellow dissipating into the water. After the horrendous day I had with him yesterday (think, coloring on the couch with markers, whacking me in the back of the legs with a stick, and screaming at the top of his lungs in the grocery store demanding apple juice), I couldn't do anything other than cry as he gently patted my leg and repeated, "It's okay, Mommy. It's okay. Don't be sad." I can't really be mad at that sweet gesture now can I?

Fast forward to after I cleaned the pee from the wall and floor and I realize that Trent is still naked from the bottom down. Being the little nudist that he is, he is running around the house as happy as can be. He runs by a toy that is crotch height when he suddenly stops, grabs his crotch and says, "Ouch, Mommy. My nuts are too big. They hit the toy." Shocked and frankly, trying to suppress a smile, I said, "Excuse me?" He replied, "You heard me. I said my nuts are too big." So, I laughed. I couldn't help it! For a split second, I thought that his statement sounded so wrong and that perhaps it is time that we teach him the correct names for body parts but then I realized it would sound even more strange if he said, "Ouch, Mommy. My testicles are too big."

So, for the time being, we will let him be :)