1 kid + 1 kid = 1 Exhausted Mom

Recently, someone told me that one is not really a parent until they have two kids. If this statement were true, then someone who has three kids would be more of a parent than one who has two and so forth. I must admit, I disagree with both of these statements wholeheartedly. In my humble opinion, having one child makes you no less of a parent than someone who has two. Whether you have one, two, five or ten children, you are a parent.

The point I believe this person was trying to make was that that being a parent to two kids is much more difficult because you have two little beings that rely on you for everything, rather than one. Thus, among other things, there is twice the work, two times the diaper changes, and two little faces to wipe. This I agree with. Having two children is significantly (and even this is a gross understatement) more difficult than having one. I cried for the first few weeks after my second son, Jagger, was born because I had no idea how I was going to do it. It was just so, for lack of a better term, hard.

After I had my first son, Trent, I could nap or clean the house or read and write whenever he was sleeping or playing independently. I was even able to work out at home, shower, do my hair, put on make-up and have time to dress in something other than the previous nights pajamas. Sure, I was tired and could never go to the bathroom by myself, but I was able to get some things done and have a little, albeit very little, time to myself.

Now that I have two kids, things are oh so different. Although they are pretty much on the same sleep schedule now, this didn't happen until recently, so for the last eight months, when one was down, the other kid was awake and wanting me to feed him, play with him, change his diaper or cuddle. I thought that I had little to no free time with one but now that I have two, any "me" time is non-existent. Truly.

With two kids, I have no time for myself. I don't go to the bathroom alone and often times, rarely take a shower by myself because little Trent whips his clothes off and hops in with me if Mark is not around to wrangle him out of the bathroom. I don't get my nails done or go out with friends alone. There is no "me" time at all! Although I usually have time to do my make-up, I rarely do my hair (throwing it back in a ponytail is as good as it gets unless I have to run errands that day) and get fully dressed. I either wear work out clothes in the hopes that I can sneak it in at some point during the day or Mark comes home from work to find that I did manage to put on a bra and clean shirt but just didn't quite get to those pants as I'm often wearing the plaid pajama pants that I wore to bed the night before. God bless him, he never says a word about it even though I know what he must be thinking.

With two kids, sex can often be a challenge. Typically, we are both too tired to do the hibbity at night so we have to sneak it in at some point during the day. We just got Jagger to nap in his crib (one of us would hold him) so sex during Trent's nap was impossible. If we are lucky, we can put Sesame Street on for the boys and sneak into the other room but undoubtedly, they notice that we are gone and soon, Trent begins to scream, bang on the door and jiggle the handle furiously while Jagger screams "Mama" repeatedly and all romance is lost. At least, for me it is, Mark can go through anything! He is, after all, a man!

With two kids, the house is always a mess...always. Before kids, I was a total clean freak. Now, I have to ignore the toys on the floor. I can't let the mess agitate me or I will lose my mind. The second I clean anything up, Trent pulls it out again because he is reminded that the toy he just saw me put away is so cool, he simply cannot live without it and must play with it right then. When I know that my husband is on his way home from work, I run around the house and throw all of the toys in the baskets and put them back on the shelves. The second he pulls into the driveway, however, the toys are out on the floor once more and it looks like I've done nothing. Hand prints mark not only the counter (which I wipe down 5 times a day--I actually kept track the last few days) but every cupboard Trent can reach. The counter is littered with bottles or cracker crumbs or dried applesauce that I didn't even realize was still on the counter from Trent's lunch. I try, I really do, but it never ends. Ever. If food or toys are not the things that I am cleaning up, I am scrubbing markers off the walls, paint off the kitchen table, spilled juice off the couch and dog prints off the floor. It is exhausting! I am in awe of my mother. She had three kids and the house was never a mess. Toys were always neatly packed away and she rarely lost her patience. She is a friggin superhero. I honestly don't know how she did it.

With two kids, you are needed twice as much. For example, the other night I put Trent to bed and the second I sat down on the couch to relax for the first time all day, he walks out of his room, crying and requesting more mommy cuddle time. His cries awoke the baby who had been sleeping for an hour. Now, there are two kids screaming at once. I went into the nursery to put the baby back down because he won't calm down with Mark, while Mark took Trent back to his room. As I was rocking and singing to the baby, Trent began to scream, "I want my mommy" over and over and over again. His screams kept waking the baby up. Again, there are two kids screaming for me at the same time and I am obviously one person. And that is how it always is...always.

With two kids, the simplest of tasks are twice as difficult. Going to the grocery store or my second home, Target (diaper and wipe purchases are never ending) is a large feat and if I can get in and out without any of the boys having a meltdown, I feel like I just completed Mount Midoriyama from American Ninja Warrior...twice. Trent sits in the cart while my 23-pound nine month old is strapped to my chest. Do you know how difficult it is to bend down and lift a 24-pack of water off the shelf and load it into the bottom of the cart without banging the baby's head into the metal cart as it begins to slide away from you the moment the water makes contact with it? It's hard and I'm sure, quite comical to watch.

With two kids, I feel so torn. I constantly feel like one child is being neglected. Jagger is going through the early stages of separation anxiety and he always and I mean always, wants me near him if not holding him. I feel like all of my time is devoted to the baby and Trent is getting the shaft which is where his acting out is arising from. He just wants my attention, good or bad. I try to make it a point to give Trent his alone time a few times a day but it is never enough. We lay down and cuddle each other or tickle or just run after one another and play. At these times, the baby is usually staring at me and screaming because he wants me too. If I'm with Trent, the baby is screaming. If I'm with the baby, Trent is either getting into trouble or looking at me sadly because he wants my attention too. Again, it is exhausting!

Perhaps if Trent were a bit older, it would be easier. He is getting quite self sufficient. He can play by himself and be happy but that still doesn't stop the guilt. The gut-wrenching, heart breaking guilt that only a mother of multiples can understand. You can never give each child enough time. I don't think Trent holds it against me as much as I hold it against myself. I want to be the best mother possible and I rarely feel like I am doing it right.

That Family Guy commercial in which the kid says, "Mommy, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Mommy," couldn't be more accurate! If Trent is not screaming my name, the baby is crying, "Mama" knowing exactly what it means. I've tried to get him to say Dada and he looks at Mark but then he turns to me and cries for his Mama. I don't think this makes Mark too happy :)

Please, don't take it the wrong way. I am not complaining in the least. I wouldn't change my life if you paid me, but it is exhausting. I recently told my husband that when I worked, I would stay up half the night, worrying about what I had to do the next day. Now, I literally am asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. My FitBit confirms this. The longest it's taken me to fall asleep in the last month is four minutes. Typically it's about two. Even though Jagger is sleeping twelve hours a night now and I'm not waking up five times to feed him, I am still tired all the time because I never stop going or I still wake up and stare and the video monitors to make sure both boys are sleeping soundly. I am so very lucky that I am able to stay home with my boys. It is a tiring, often times thankless, but rewarding beyond words, job.

With two kids, I have a little less patience, which I didn't have much to begin with. I find myself often snapping at my husband because my day was full of temper tantrum upon tempter tantrum all while lugging around a super cute potato sack on my hip. I often snap at Trent because I get so frustrated that he knocked his trucks off his shelf for the tenth time that day and the baby won't let me put him down. And when I see those big brown two-year-old staring back at me, I feel horrible. I have to constantly remind myself that Trent is two and not fifteen and therefore, he is growing and learning not only how to push his limits but how to become independent. Although I have less patience, I also have more love.  I often stare at my boys and can't help but tear up because I love them more than anyone else possibly could. I love them so much it hurts and the thought of anything happening to them makes my heart skip a beat and my chest tighten beyond comprehension. I love them to the moon and back and then even further than that.

With two kids, sometimes I am so tired and frustrated from my day (cleaning spilled paint, scrubbing couches covered in markers, sanitizing poop that was smeared on the crib) that I cannot wait for my husband to get home so that I can have a cocktail to relax. Some days, although it's rare, I can't even wait for him to get home before making a glass of mommy juice. Some days, it is just needed. Some days I have so much fun with the boys I can't wait for Mark to get home so that I can show him the new dance move Trent and I made up or so that he can taste the cookies that we all made. Some days, I pray for the hours of the day to fly by so that my kids go to bed and then the instant they are down, I miss them and want to hold them and smell them and kiss them.

Although two kids is twice the work, there is also twice the reward. There are two butts to wipe but two little men to cuddle. There are two faces and two sets of hands to keep clean but two mouths to kiss. There are two sets of tears to wipe but two smiling, giggling, laughing faces to love. No matter how tired I am or how much I crave time for myself, I love my boys more than anything in this world. I would rather have messy counters and glass smeared with little mitts or paint or stickers than a quiet, pristine house with no screaming, crying or laughter. I wouldn't trade my messy life for anything.

And to think that we want to have another kid at some point! As I recently shared on Facebook, my husband told me that he thought I would get pregnant soon. I wanted to punch him in the face. I want to try for a girl but not just yet. If we were to have a third at this moment, I might be asking someone to wipe my behind because I would be too stinking tired!

I wouldn't trade this...

  Or this...

Or this...

for anything!

Tears Over Hot Chocolate

I just love my sweet boy and yes, I'm talking about Trent!

After the recent post detailing the monster that Trent was acting like the other day (unfortunately, he is on a roll and his behavior has not improved), I thought I should share some stories about how sweet he can be too!

Most Saturdays, Mark packs Trent in his truck and they run "man errands." Usually, this entails trips to Home Depot. Lowes, or the dump. Yes, the dump. We live very excited lives. On one such trip to the dump, Mark stopped by Starbucks, got a cup of coffee for himself and ordered a kid's hot chocolate for Trent. Trent was in heaven! He walked in the door, proudly showed me his cup and said, "Mmmm, Mommy, I love hot chocolate."

It seems he has a photographic memory because every single time Trent now sees the Starbucks sign, he demands hot chocolate which he usually drips all down his chest as he practically moans in pleasure each time he takes a sip. Recently, I was driving down the street when we were approaching the glorious franchise that is Starbucks. Trent, with the eyes of a fox, began to plead for a hot chocolate. Deciding that I could use some coffee myself, I pulled in to the drive through and ordered our beverages.

Trent was shrieking with anticipation. I turned around in my seat and handed him his teeny tiny cup and he started crying. Full-on, alligator tears were pouring down his rosy cheeks and my heart began to break. He held his cup to his chest so tightly that I was afraid he was going to pop the lid off and I would be cleaning up hot chocolate for a week. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Oh, Mommy, thank you, thank you. I love my hot chocolate. I love you Mommy." With that, I started to cry. Silly, I know. He was just so excited over his hot chocolate and the tone of his voice and the look on his face, told me how much he loved me. Sure, he was pleased that I got him what he wanted but his reaction was priceless. It reminded me that kids get so much pleasure out of the tiniest things in life.

Here's another sweet story...Every night when Trent goes to bed he says, "Mommy, I want to cuddle with you." When he tells Mark he wants to cuddle with him, he usually gets another 20 minutes of play time with Daddy but when he tells me, I lie him in his bed and he pulls my hand until I am laying next to him. He then pulls his little hands around my neck and pulls my big noggin down until it rests on his boney little chest and then he sweetly caresses the side of my face and my hair and it melts my heart every single night. Every time I try to get up, he says, "No, Mommy, come here. I want to cuddle you." So, I relent until he has had enough cuddle time because there will be a time when he won't want to cuddle me at all!

Despite the monster that he can be (these terrible two's are no joke), he is a sweet kid who has so much love to give and I'll take it, as long as he will give it.

On another, and not so sweet note, he has pooped in his potty every single day since Sunday and multiple times a day at that. No accidents at all! Whenever I go to check on him, he promptly puts his hands up and tells me to go away and close the door. The man likes to poop in peace, what can I say?!

It's a Miracle!

A miracle happened last night in the Clore household. A totally unexpected, glorious and welcome miracle.

Trent pooped in the potty!

Mark and I were cleaning up after dinner last night when Trent disappeared into his room which is not at all uncommon. I thought he went to his room to play so I continued to focus on the never ending task at hand...cleaning dishes. 

A few minutes later Trent comes racing out of his room and into the kitchen with his frog potty in hand. Mark was closest to him and said something like, "Oh, you went pee pee. Let's go dump it." Mark, however, didn't move toward to the bathroom. He quietly whispered, almost as if scared, "Tianna, look at this," while giving me this strange sideways glance. I walked over, peered down in that orange bowl and instantly starting screaming, "Yayyyyy! Trent, you went poop in the potty like a big boy!" I high-fived him, hugged him, kissed him, praised him, danced a funny jig. I did everything but throw that kid a freaking parade (if we lived closer to my family, I probably would have had a poop party to celebrate, I kid you not) and all while Mark looked at me strangely. In turn, I looked at him like "why aren't you praising your son?" so he did and Trent looked so proud!

In between my hoots and hollers Trent said, "I pooped on the potty. I get a milkshake." So, that is exactly what he got! A bit later, I was cleaning up the kitchen...again...and I heard strange grunting coming from Trent's bathroom. I snuck in and saw that he was back on the potty. I snuck out and let him do his business. When the house was filled with silence, I poked my head around the corner and Trent was standing above the potty, staring at his masterpiece.

I walked over to him while asking if he went again and he said awestruck, "Yes, my poop is humongous!" Let me tell you, I was shocked at what I saw. I have seen poop smeared on his sheets and on his crib. I have seen poop on the bathroom floor. I have seen poop on his rug. I have seen poop coming out of his butt while I raced toward the bathroom to sit him on the toilet. I have never, and I mean ever, seen him poop in the potty all on his own, much less the man turd that was waiting for me in the potty last night. As I walked toward the potty, I nearly saw the overhead lights dim while the frog potty was illuminated in a soft light as the angels began to sing, "Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah!"  

Being well, me, I took a picture (I'll spare you) and instantly called my parents in Hawaii, proudly exclaiming that their first grandchild had pooped in the potty, without any prompting, not once but twice! 

For all that is holy, I hope it isn't a fluke! He was so excited and proud that I think that was it for him...something just clicked. I think (and pray) that night diapers will soon be a thing of the past. He mastered peeing on the potty a year ago. It is about time he got pooping down too! Fingers crossed!

BREAKING NEWS: At this very moment, Trent is in the potty again. I opened the door because I heard him in there and he promptly said, "Mommy, get out. Close the door please."

BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: He has emerged from the bathroom, frog potty in hand and wait...one moment..yes, yes. I can confirm that there is a nice sized poop and pee in the potty. GO TRENT!!!

BREAKING BREAKING BREAKING NEWS: Potty is clean (for some reason, there is something that makes me cringe when I have to wipe poo out of that bowl. I don't know why--I am used to scrapping it off of his butt but still--I have the heebie jeebies) and Trent is now requesting ice cream! 

And the Trent Monster is Back in Full Effect

One of the reasons why I haven't been blogging as much recently is because nothing particularly hysterical or catastrophic has happened lately (in addition to my focusing on my writing, the holidays, etc.). All in all, with Trent able to now have a conversation, he has been very well behaved. Obviously, he has the occasional temper tantrum; after all, he is two, but for the most part, he has been really good.

Until today...

First, Trent bound into Jagger's room bright and early this morning, crawled into his crib which obviously woke the baby up and it was his first night of sleeping through the night!!

Next, I had to wrestle him into the car so that I could go to the grocery store. He screamed hysterically the entire way to the store, demanding one of the best snacks in the world...Cheese-Its. I tried to explain that that was one of the things we were going to get at the store but he wanted them right now. Thus, he screamed the whole way there while I silently swore in my head that there was no way that he was going to get the damn Cheese-Its with that kind of behavior.

Once at the store, the baby was strapped into the Bjorn and can I tell you, lugging around a 23 pound baby on my chest is painful but it is what I have to do if I am going to have a cart too full to fit the carrier and the groceries. Trent was sitting in the seat, asking me when he was going to get his "treats." As I was waiting for the woman to slice the lunch meat, the baby began to scream. I promptly opened my purse and pulled out a bag of Cheerios not knowing that it wasn't sealed. As I whipped it out of my purse, Cheerios went flying. An entire Ziplock of cheerios, I might add. Embarrassed, I fell to my hands and knees and began to pick up each Cheerio one by one while Jagger screamed hysterically and two store employees stared at from ten feet away. Two! I apologized profusely, hoping they would tell me not to worry about it and that they would send someone to clean it up but they didn't. So, I crawled around on all fours, ass in the air and Jagger hanging on to dear life.

As I was walking from aisle to aisle, collecting the things I needed, we passed the seafood counter which was a huge mistake. Trent, thinking we were at the store with the lobster tank, began to scream for the "yobbers" over and over and over. I tried explaining that the lobsters were at the other store which seemed to calm him down for a second until he saw the lobster tails and the crabs on ice in the display. He then very nicely asked if he could see them. I didn't see the harm in that so I carted him over to the counter and let him stare at the tails and crabs which made him ridiculously happy. After a minute or two, I began to wheel him away. He then began to have a meltdown. A screaming at the top of his lungs, crying, hands balled into fists and shaking meltdown.

I tried distracting him by pointing other things out he would like. I tried hugging him. I tried threatening him that if he didn't stop screaming, he would not get his treats. Nothing worked. I was now getting the judgmental looks from other customers...the ones that scream, "Why are you such a bad parent? Why can't you control your child?" I started to become quite embarrassed. I had tried everything to calm him down, nothing worked so I thought it best to practically sprint through the rest of the store and ignore his tantrum. I then began to get the looks that screamed, "Why are you letting your kid scream like that? What aren't you doing anything?" I wanted to shout back, "I have no other choice!" I also wanted to explain that ignoring such bad behavior is actually what our pediatrician and most parenting books tell you to do! One time, an old lady told me that if Trent was her kid (this was a long time ago), she would take him out of the cart right then and spank him. I very politely told her that yes, I could do that and make her happy but I could run the risk of some nosey stranger call CPS on me for abusing my child for a mere spanking (I know someone that happened to). I'll run the risk of ignoring my kid rather than undergo a CPS investigation!

So, I was jamming through the store while Trent was screaming because he was pissed and Jagger was screaming (he never screams) because he's teething. Trent finally began to calm down when a store employee came up to us and handed us a free potted plant. I graciously accepted it as she moved on to other customers, handing out these plants. Trent was happy just smelling that stupid flower until, and you know there is an 'until,' he spotted a bag of M & M's. For the love of God, why do store pack the middle of the aisles with displays of crap meant to entice children? The candy in the dairy section, for crying out loud. It wasn't even near the candy aisle which I purposefully avoid because of this exact scenario! Trent then began to scream for the M & M's! I told him there was no way he was getting the candy just as we pulled up to the cashier. What did he do? He looked right at me, picked up the plant the nice lady had just given him and tossed it into the back of the cart like it was nothing. I felt like I was in slow motion...I could see myself leaping toward the flying plant, one arm outstretched in an effort to catch in, the other holding Jagger's head so it didn't flail about, my mouth opening unattractively, practically screaming, "Trent, NOOOOOOO!"

I did not catch the plant. Soil spewed all over the groceries. Trent continued to scream for the M & M's. Other customers flashed me the look of death. I frantically began to apologize to the cashier while my eyes welled with tears.

I think the good old employees and customers of Smith's were very happy when we walked out of the store today.

The silver lining in my day so far is when Trent (for the second day in a row) sniffed the air dramatically and then announced for the store to hear as I was paying for the groceries, "Mommy, I have mud butt." I didn't know whether to smile (how could you not? It is kind of funny) or strangle my little turd of a son.

We stopped by my old work to say hi to a friend when Trent escaped my grasp and ran straight for the street. I had to toss my Starbucks aside and run like lighting with Jagger in my arms, so that I could grab Trent before he hit the traffic.

Lastly, right when I was getting the baby ready for his nap, Trent snuck onto the counter and opened the microwave which was where I had Mark's brownies hidden. I came out of the nursery and found Trent hacking into the brownies with a fork. I told him that he is not supposed to be on the counter and that he does not deserve a brownie due to his bad behavior and he lost his mind. Naturally, I took a picture...

That is how I feel too, Trent...that is how I feel too!

It's 2:06...you think that is too early for a cocktail...a very big, very strong, glass of Mommy juice?!

The Messes my Son has Made!

I posted a picture on Facebook this morning of Trent with a face full of blackberry jam. My friend Kristen (she is an amazing wife, mother, friend and photographer--check out her blog here: http://www.thegoodlifebykristen.com/)  made a comment about how I could make a book of all of the messes/funny faces that Trent has gotten into and made. I couldn't help but think that that was just a great idea (thanks, Kristen)! 

So, without further ado...here are A FEW of the catastrophes (and a few funny faces) that Trent has made with a blurb about what happened. Hope you enjoy!

His feet from his first birthday cake 

 Yes, he pooped...on my Tiffany necklace.

More first birthday fun!

Jam face

He got into the flour

This is just a funny face of his!

He loves to get himself into precarious positions

BBQ sauce face

Crazy face!

Chocolate face

Trent's "I'm up to something" face!

The toys he threw behind the cabinet

The beads he found and threw all over the flour (it was a box of 1,000)

He found daddy's highlighter, drew on the couch and was upset that I took the pen away.

Brownie face...he was upset when I took the brownie mix away

He was happy when he first found it!

Someone found the chocolate syrup

He can fit into anything

He found the Vaseline. I couldn't find the picture of when he smeared it all over his face.

Dry erase markers on the couch 

Blackberry jam face! 

I am sure there are many, many more messes to come! 

I'll try to post a good story this weekend! I have been really busy working on my book (big shout out to Olivia for readying and critiquing the first few chapters--thank you)! 

One of the Scariest Things to Wake Up To...

One of the scariest things to wake up to at two in the morning is your child's mug mere inches away from your face while he just stares at you blankly.

One of the funniest things to wake up to is when that same child suddenly smiles and says, "Hi, Mommy. What are you doing?" and then plants a big, sloppy, wet kiss on your face.

The above scenario happened no less than eight times over the course of the last three nights. When we decided to start sleep training our eight month old this last Friday, I never imagined that the kid that would keep me up all night would be Trent rather than the baby!

We anticipated that it was going to be a rough few nights and because Trent and Jagger's rooms are connected by a bathroom, we knew that we were going to have to move Trent into our room for a few nights so that the baby's crying didn't wake him up. So, we blew up a mattress and moved every single one of Trent's 20 stuffed animals into our room. We put the baby down in his own room and he did great. He woke up around midnight and cried for 27 minutes (yes, I timed it. I was going to live tweet about it because when we trained Trent, it was quite funny but the first night was very uneventful, therefore, not funny in the slightest) before he fell back asleep. For the next forty-five minutes, he would cry for a few minutes, then sleep for a few minutes. After that, he slept through the night. Occasionally, he did do that annoying loud foot thumping where he brings his legs to his chest and slams them back down repeatedly but he never really cried again.

Trent however, talked and talked and talked. Not only did he chat while we were trying to get to sleep but that kid talks a lot during his sleep! When he wasn't talking or sleeping, Trent was staring at me while I slept. I have no clue how long he stared at me before that creepy feeling washed over me and I opened my eyes to see his funny face staring at me. After nearly having a heart attack, I couldn't help but laugh when Trent would just smile at me and tell me he wanted to cuddle. I can rarely resist a cuddle even if it is in the middle of the night. Apparently, neither can Mark...

Here is Jagger after his first night in his room...a happy little man as usual. Please excuse his hair! It is out of control as usual. Trent kept referring to him as a peacock!

And this is just funny because his puff looks like buck teeth :) 

Jagger did even better Saturday night; he only cried for about ten minutes. Yet again, Trent was a chatty little cuddle monster who repeatedly left his bed in our room to stare at and try to cuddle with me. On a side-note, Trent did embarrass my husband quite a bit Saturday afternoon. Mark took Trent on a man errand to this little country feed/hunting store to try to find weed killer. While there, Trent spotted an elephant figurine. Apparently, Trent pointed to it and announced loud enough for the entire store to hear that the elephant had a "humongous weiner." He was referring to its tail. Mark tried to tell him it was a tail but Trent kept correcting him by telling Mark what he thought it was :)

Second night:

Being that Jagger was doing so well, we moved Trent back into his room last night. Jagger cried for about 3 minutes while Trent kept me up for over two hours! First, he peed in his bed so he and the bed needed to be changed. Then, he kept wanting to cuddle. I hadn't taken his bed down in our room so after he came in and woke me up for a third time, I tossed him on the blow up mattress and cuddled with him there. After I finally got him to sleep, I quietly snuck back into my bed when the grumpiest dog alive, Buster, started barking uncontrollably and woke the entire house up for the day.

The joys of being a mother! I am bound and determined to keep Trent in his bed tonight! Right now, however, I need to wrangle my nudist child back into his clothes...again. This kid kills me! Especially when we were in the grocery store the other day and he spotted lobsters, which he gets quite excited about. Here is the video...

Weiners on the Glass at the Clore Household

In the past, our garbage men used to be well, jerks. For instance, they would leave snarky notes on our big green can when the pail was too full for the lid to close snuggly. They starting refusing to take any of the bags sitting next to the can. How dare they refuse to take our garbage and chastise us for constantly breaking the rules! The nerve ;)

After about the third nasty note, I broke down and went to their offices to purchase the extra tags (which are insanely expensive) we would need on those rare days when we had too much garbage to fit in the can. We began to use those tags and the garbage men became much more friendly...they started to smile and wave if they saw us and they even began to bring the can half way up the driveway after emptying it. Once we gave them bottles of booze for Christmas, things really turned around. Not only did they continue to wave as us but they began to bring our can all the way up to the house which is incredibly nice because we have a long driveway.

My son loves the garbage men. He is literally obsessed. As soon as he hears that truck rumble through the neighbor he starts to lose his mind and scream excitedly that the orange truck is coming. Typically, I am getting Trent dressed for the day when the garbage truck comes by our house. Being that the changing table is directly under the window, Trent can see the men jump out of the truck and get our garbage and this is when he really loses his mind. He bangs on the window and screams excitedly all the while waving furiously. Seems cute right?

Well, being that I am in the process of changing him, he is usually stark naked when he waves to the guys. As soon as he gets a wave in, I usually grab him and set him back on the dresser and proceed to dress him. This last time however, Trent was not having it. He kept jumping back up, waving and screaming, "Hewoooooo, garbage man. Hewooo." When the truck began to pull away, he pressed his entire body against the window, boy parts and all, and screamed hysterically, "Don't go, garbage man, please don't go." As I saw his little body pressed against the glass, a line from the movie Varsity Blues came to mind. It's the one from the police officer who is describing how out of control the members of the football team are behaving:

Police Officer: They put them wieners on the glass at the Alano Club, while the ladies were rehearsing the Christmas pageant.

As they were driving away, I noticed that they did a double take and  were laughing hysterically which made me laugh hysterically as well. I thought, "He put his weiner on the glass at the Clore household while his mom was trying to get him dressed." Hopefully, the men got a good laugh from my son's behavior and next week, I am going to try to make sure that he is dressed before they come by the house!

We Have a Floater

It is a day that every parent dreads...the day your child takes a big old crap in the bathtub and it just happened to us.

When Trent was little, he accidentally let a turd flow out in the tub a time or two. It was disgusting. It was messy. It basically consisted of me spotting the poop, screaming my head off for Mark while holding a wet, slippery child over the tub and Mark coming to the rescue with a bottle of bleach in one hand and a scrub brush in the other. Luckily, we haven't had that scene play out in our home in quite some time...until Monday night.

Although Jagger can sit up on his own in the tub and be safe doing so, we still put him in the infant tub inside of the big tub because the boys bath together and I am afraid that Trent will knock the baby over like he typically does when he hugs him a million times a day. So, the infant tub is in the big tub. Trent baths and plays on his side and Jagger baths and plays in his tub. On Monday night, after Trent was out of the tub and drying off, I took the baby out, wrapped him in a towel, opened the main drain and then dumped the water from the infant tub into the big tub. As I stood up with the baby, I saw it. A Milky Way looking turd floating down the tub before it began to circle the drain. I screamed.

Mark comes running to my rescue and I can't help but laugh. Thankfully, Trent was already out of the tub because I have no doubt that kid would have picked up that turd and smeared it on the wall thinking it was paint or something and then we would have had to battle his playing with poop all over again (for those of you who have read my blog for a long time, you know what I am talking about)! Mark confirmed that it was in fact a turd and being the kick ass husband that he is, he picked up the poop and then cleaned the tub while I slathered lotion on and dressed the kids.

We survived our first bath time poo and I am sure that it will not be the last time.

On another note, this is probably a story that I shouldn't write about (so, naturally, I am going to do just that) but it is too funny to keep all to myself. Last night, Trent came running out of his room sans underwear and pants and proudly screaming that he peed in froggy potty (why he went from going in the regular toilet to the kid one, I haven't a clue). I gave him a high five and got up to dump the pee in the big toilet but Trent beat me to it.

As I rounded the corner, he had the bucket portion of the frog toilet in one hand while he was lifting the seat cover with the other. He looked at me and said, "Mommy, I dump it," as he proceeded to  cock his arm back like a pitcher and throw the contents of the potty all over the bathroom wall. He looked at the wall, looked at me, and then looked in the big toilet before screaming, "See, Mommy, I did it!" I glanced in the toilet to see the tiniest speck of yellow dissipating into the water. After the horrendous day I had with him yesterday (think, coloring on the couch with markers, whacking me in the back of the legs with a stick, and screaming at the top of his lungs in the grocery store demanding apple juice), I couldn't do anything other than cry as he gently patted my leg and repeated, "It's okay, Mommy. It's okay. Don't be sad." I can't really be mad at that sweet gesture now can I?

Fast forward to after I cleaned the pee from the wall and floor and I realize that Trent is still naked from the bottom down. Being the little nudist that he is, he is running around the house as happy as can be. He runs by a toy that is crotch height when he suddenly stops, grabs his crotch and says, "Ouch, Mommy. My nuts are too big. They hit the toy." Shocked and frankly, trying to suppress a smile, I said, "Excuse me?" He replied, "You heard me. I said my nuts are too big." So, I laughed. I couldn't help it! For a split second, I thought that his statement sounded so wrong and that perhaps it is time that we teach him the correct names for body parts but then I realized it would sound even more strange if he said, "Ouch, Mommy. My testicles are too big."

So, for the time being, we will let him be :)

The Mom with the Blog is Back!

Hi everyone!

I cannot believe it has been so long since I have posted anything but with the holidays and my boys being sick for what seems like forever, I have been so busy! One of my New Year's resolutions is not only to lose some weight (isn't that everyone's?) but also to write more. I am going to try to post on my blog every Monday, Wednesday and Friday (or thereabout) and to work on my new book! I had this insane dream a few weeks ago and decided that it would be a great book idea. So, I started writing my third book recently, although it has been hard to work on it much with sick kids and a teething eight month old. Not to mention, my little brother got married! Trent was the ring bearer and (gasp), he actually walked down the aisle! For those of you who know Trent, you know that he is quite shy and he doesn't like when people stare at him so no one thought he would make it down the aisle without my having to pick him up! He shocked us all when he did it all by himself and he did it all with his eyes closed! He thinks that if he closes his eyes, no one can see him so as soon as he saw everyone staring at him, he closed his eyes and walked the rest of the way blind! Here is the picture to prove it...

Anyhow, now that I am back and it has been so long, I thought I would do a quick update on how everyone is doing...

Trent is doing great! I cannot believe that he will be three in three more months. He is getting so tall and handsome; he no longer looks like a baby (which kind of breaks my heart). He is also getting incredibly smart. He can say his ABC's and count to 20 like it's nothing. His temper tantrums are easing up a bit which I attribute to the fact that we can actually have conversations now and understand each other. He still has his meltdowns when he wants something that I won't give him but he is getting so much better. The child still won't poop on the potty (he waits until his nighttime diaper is on) but he takes his pants off and goes pee all by himself whenever the mood strikes him. Thank goodness he has stopped playing in his poop; that was disgusting and well, messy. He also still wants to be naked all of the time! We are trying to keep clothes on him but he despises them!

Jagger is getting so big! He almost weighs as much as Trent which means that he is really large and Trent is really skinny! He screams Mama constantly and is trying his hardest to crawl. He is still the happiest baby on the planet but he has officially started the stage where he wants me all the time. He went from sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old to waking up about 4 times a night now so I am exhausted but he is so cute. Like Trent he loves to dance and the two rock out to the slightest hint of music. Apparently, he ate a hair of mine because when I changed his diaper the other day, part of my hair was coming out of his you know what and I actually had to pull the entire thing out. It was disgusting but funny! He has officially discovered his man parts and the second I take his diaper off, his hand shoots down to his junk. My dad loves to remind me that it's normal and his hand will be there for the rest of his life ;)

Mark is doing great. He kicked ass at work and made President's Club which means that his work is sending us to St. Thomas the first of March and we can't wait. He also shot a ginormous elk which he is having mounted. Silly man thinks that huge head is going to be mounted in the family room! The antelope head currently mounted in the dining room is enough, trust me.

Here are a few pictures to catch everyone up on the boys. Enjoy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Trent and Jagger's Christmas pictures! Thanks Mandi Raymond Photography!

Other fun photos taken by Mark's best friend's wife...Kristen at KristenVintage Photography!

 Jagger hamming it up at Uncle Gabe's wedding 

 This kid has so much hair!

See you later this week!