Saggy Boobs

As I was bustling about the kitchen this morning making Trent breakfast, I caught Mark staring at my boobs. If you know Mark, you know that this is nothing terribly new for him. I told him to stop it and shook my head. He calmly responded with, "Your boobs are getting really big." Again, I shook my head and turned my back on him.

He proceeded to walk up behind me and grab a big handful for myself (again, nothing new. People always make comments to me about how he is not affectionate and I have to laugh because the second we are alone, he is like a leach)! I pushed him away and said, "That's what pregnancy will do to you and they are getting saggy. I can't wait to get them pinned up to their rightful place after I'm done having kids."

It was at this point when a very serious look washed over Mark's face. He said, "Well, if you ever wore a bra, they would stop sagging. You are contributing to the problem yourself."

And it was at this point when I almost bitch-slapped him. I said, "The only time I don't wear a bra is after I get out of the shower at night and in the morning before I get dressed. I hardly think that that is contributing to the problem." Dumbfounded, he looked at me and said, "You never wear a bra." Even more dumbfounded, I stared back at him and asked him what he was talking about. I explained how I take Trent to gymnastics every morning and usually have at least one errand to run during the day and I don't do either of these things while letting the girls roam free but he continued to stare at me, wide-eyed.

I think that he could tell that I was beyond annoyed (my hormones have been crazy these last few days and I find myself getting moody) so his only response was, "I bet bras aren't that comfortable, huh?"

Nice change of topic, buddy-boy! I swear...guys are so clueless sometimes. I may be totally uninformed myself, but I always thought that that was an old wives-tale...kind of like how when I was like twelve and was afraid that if I slept on my stomach, my boobs wouldn't grow because they would be smushed all night long. I think that a friend told me that at school and every time I would wake up in the morning on my stomach, I would break out in a cold sweat, convinced that my boobs looked smaller than they already were. It wasn't until my mother told me that my fear was crazy (as was my friend) that I began to sleep soundly once more.

Anyhow, after I flashed Mark my best "you have no idea what you are talking about" look and he left for work, I jumped on the internet for some quick research, afraid that I was going to have to apologize to him for being right about his theory that lack of a bra for a few hours a day causes sagging. Thankfully, my quick research revealed that there is no evidence to support this crazy theory; therefore, my tail will not be between my legs when he walks in the door tonight! Thank goodness!!