Trent Monster has Returned in Full Force!

After waking up this morning, getting Trent out of his crib and handing him his required chocolate milk, we sat on the couch and cuddled. As he repeatedly looked deep into my eyes, then hugged and kissed me, I couldn't help but think that today was going to be a great day!

I was wrong...

Yesterday we found out that Mark's best friend, Chris, his wife, Kristen and their two adorable kids, were driving from Vegas to hang out with us for the weekend. I was thinking that I would have plenty of time to clean the house and finish putting away the last of the Christmas presents, well, that was until Mark informed me that we would be going to Heavenly snow park tomorrow and I realized that Trent didn't have any puffy, warm, snow pants. He has plenty of warm jackets and he even has a pair of what else, camo snow boots, but no snow pants. So, finding snow pants was first on my list of things to do today. As Mark was heading out the door to work, he asked if I could find a pair of pants that was either black or grey so that Trent could wear his "cool, new jacket." I secretly rolled my eyes and thought to myself that Trent would get whatever color pants I could find him.

I also needed pants to fit my larger than life belly, so I slapped on some hideous maternity jeans, a warm jacket and threw some warm clothes on Trent as well, and off to Target we went. I should stop and explain for those of you who do not know, that we live in a very, very small town. I went from living in the Bay Area, to Reno, to Vegas to my husband's tiny hometown of Minden. The closest mall we have is in Reno which is about 45 minutes away. We are stuck with Target, Walmart, Burlington and Big 5 and that's about it. In Vegas, I would whip my little car around the corner and practically hit any store I could ever want but that just isn't the case here and I have to admit that I kind of love it!

Back to my story....so, we headed to Target first which did not have any pants for either Trent or myself but I decided to pick up a few essentials while I was there. Trent decided that he just did not want to cooperate with me today and sit in the cart like a good little boy should. Nope, he wanted to run around like a crazy person. I let him walk next to me in the grocery store yesterday and he did a fabulous job! He stayed next to me, never strayed and never tried to touch anything he shouldn't. Well, that didn't happen today. After he finagled his way out of the cart belt, I set him on the ground and he immediately took off like a bat out of hell. I literally had to chase after him in this puffy coat and huge boots. Just as I was closing in on him, I felt my left foot slide out from under me and turn in this crazy direction. I then heard a not-so-great sounding 'pop.' I immediately started having sharp pains shoot from my left him to my left knee. I grabbed the monster that is Trent and hobbled, very ungracefully back to the cart.

Pissed, I put Trent back in the cart and gimped it around the rest of the store. We next stopped at Big 5 and I was immediately angry at myself when I realized that I forgot the stroller. Praying that Trent would hold my hand while we shopped for our pants, we made our way into the store. Trent immediately started throwing a fit because he did not want to hold my hand; he wanted to run around the store. The clerk quickly told me that they didn't have any pants his size so we were off to Burlington which is only a few stores down.

Thankfully, they had a cart that Trent could sit in. He refused to be buckled but he was agreeable to sitting in the main cart. Cringing, I reluctantly sat him in the cart (I've never done that before) and vowed that we would be in and out in less than 10 minutes. Hah!

I couldn't find any pants in his size, despite the fact that there was a big sign advertising "2T snow pants." I had to wrestle down a saleswoman to ask her if they had anymore in the back. She asked me what size I needed, to which I answered 2T. As we walked all the back across the store, she asked me several more times. She then found the pants she was looking for and held them up to me and proudly proclaimed, "4T." Trying not to shoot daggers from my eyes, I explained that I needed a 2T and she pushed the pants toward me and said, "Yes, 4T." Not wanting to drop kick her to the throat or be rude (I hate when people are rude to salespeople, I politely thanked her for her time and turned around.

I quickly made my way to the woman's section, hoping that this trip would not be a total loss. As I was searching for pants for myself, Trent grabbed my purse with the quickness of a ninja, took out my wallet, opened it, turned it over and dumped all of the contents to the ground. As I was picking up money and loose credit cards, he began to rip out my other credit cards and my license and throw them in the air like he was making it rain money or something. I am on my hands and knees, scrambling to find everything as he laughs hysterically and people walk by me while giving me the "why don't you control your kid? look." A cute little old man even said, "He's cute but he looks like a handful." Trent smiled sweetly at the old guy before scrunching his nose of and giving him his best "stink face." I collected everything I could find and made a beeline for the checkout lane, all while trying to take deep breathes and tell myself that I love my son! Trent may be cute and he is pretty good most of the time, but he does occasionally have days like today when I want to ship him to my parents!

If that wasn't enough, Trent head-butted me as I was putting him in his carseat. He hit my nose so hard, that my eyes immediately began to water and my vision became all blurred. I had to bite my tongue for fear that various expletives would escape my mouth and I didn't want Trent, who is repeating everything I say, busting out an "f" bomb in some ridiculously embarrassing place as he inevitably would.

We went through all of this today (I forgot to mention the random screeching that he did at odd intervals throughout all stores, along with shouting the word "cold" at the top of his lungs and ripping his beanie off of his big head and throwing it as far as he could all while laughing at me) and I still don't have any puffy, warm pants for Trent. Frankly, all I want to do is clean my house, take a nap and drink a flipping milkshake all before our friends get here this evening. Thankfully, they are the best people around and so much fun so I know this weekend will be a blast!

Now, he is napping like the angel I know he can be while I write this rather long blog instead of cleaning the house like I should be doing. In the interest of time, I'm not going back to proofread this bad boy because I have to get off my lazy, gimpy behind and finish cleaning this house! So, please forgive any grammatical or spelling errors that are probably scattered throughout.

Christmas Recap

Ahhh, Christmas is over...thank goodness! It is exhausting driving to so many places in only a few days.

We started off at Mark's mom's house on Friday night. Trent handled the three hour car ride much better than I did! He watched his videos the entire time while I complained about a sore back :) On Saturday, we went to Mark's family's Christmas party and Trent had a blast. He got to play with a whole bunch of kids and the little girls at the party doted on him like no other. He wanted nothing to do with Santa, who just so happened to stop by the party. Trent merely wanted to look at him from afar and he even offered Santa a cookie but there was no way that he was going to sit on Santa's lap. The party was fun as usual and it was nice to see Mark's family.

We celebrated Christmas with Mark's family on Sunday morning since we weren't going back to his mom's for Christmas. Mark's family got all of Thanksgiving so it was only fair that my family got Christmas, right? Right! So, the gift exchange was fun and it brought me so much happiness to see Trent rip presents open and smile when he saw something neat.

As we were leaving Mark's mom's house, I received a text from my little brother's girlfriend Tanya who sent over a picture of her hand with a big 'ol sparkler on her ring finger. Gabriel finally popped the question and my parents and I could not be more thrilled. We love our little Tanya and are so happy that she is officially going to be part of the family!

We then made our way over to my parents house which is about an hour from Mark's mom's house. In once sense, it's nice that they live so close but in another it is such a pain because we are expected to hit up both houses on every trip and it is exhausting! After all, we are the one's who have to load the kid and the dog's up every trip and go back and forth. It feels like we never get to spend quality time with each family because we always have to cut it short and go visit the other family. Mark hates it and he swears that this is the last Christmas we are doing down in the Bay. Anyhow, we got to my parents house and did Christmas with my Aunt, Uncle and grandpa on Sunday night (right after the infamous dog vs. Trent incident occurred). I was so excited to see Gabe and Tanya and to check out her ring which I had only seen via the pics that Gabe sent me when he was designing it and it is just beautiful! He did such a great job designing it.

On Christmas Eve, we went to my aunt's house in Orinda and did Christmas with my dad's entire side, which is pretty big; he has four sisters alone! My Aunt Marie and cousin Ashely made this really cute board where everyone could put their big events coming up in 2013. Obviously, Gabe and Tanya have their wedding (their shooting for October or November). My cousin Erinn and her fiancee, Kevin, are getting married in October. My other cousin Ian and his partner/new fiancee, Rocky are moving from New York City to New Orleans and opening up a restaurant. They asked for ideas for the name of their new place and Mark thought of one when we got back home...Rocco's Tacos (a little play on Rocky's name....anyhow, I thought that was cute). Mark and I are having baby number two in May. Point being, there are big events coming up in the next year. Trent was tired and kind of a monster so it was an early night.

When we got back to my parents house, Mark and Gabe put a car together for Trent. I thought it was only take them about five minutes but I was wrong! Even though it took a long time, it was worth it because Trent LOVES it! He rode/sat in that little car all of Christmas day! It was so cute. It took us hours to unwrap all of the gifts because there is a ridiculous amount of presents. Every year, we tell each other that we are not going to go overboard, yet each year, it looks like there are more presents than the year before. My family truly is blessed. Mark made gin fizzes and we ate our traditional egg rolls, crab sandwiches and mini pizzas...how odd is that? We go from tamales and rice and beans on Christmas Even to appetizers on Christmas day but that's our families thing and we love it. After all of the presents were unwrapped and my brothers went to their own houses, my parents, Mark, Trent and me all took a nice long nap! Mark stayed in his pajamas all day long and we watched Christmas Vacation. It was so relaxing and PERFECT! I could not have asked for anything more.

Although it took us five hours to drive home yesterday, rather than the usual three (chains were required and we were lucky enough to get behind every snow plow imaginable), we enjoyed the drive and just laughed and talked. I love my family and feel so lucky to be a part of it. All in all, there wasn't too much drama which is all you can really ask for this holiday season. I could go into what little drama there was but why ruin a nice holiday recap?! Hehe.

 I hope everyone's holiday was enjoyable!

You Know You're Getting Old When...

As Mark and I were driving the three plus hours to his mother's house in the Bay Area last Friday, we couldn't help but laugh at the conversations we were having....we sounded so...OLD! We used to talk about going out, partying and who recently hooked up with who. Now, we find ourselves talking about taxes, sore backs and food.

Over the course of the last five days, we constantly caught ourselves saying or doing things that we never would have done ten, or even five, years ago. The running joke became, "Damn, you know you're old when..." Mark thought it would be funny to create a running list of these things and to have me post them on my blog. Below, is the list we've started...

You Know You Are Old When...

1. You get socks, underwear and ear and nose hair trimmers for Christmas and you are actually excited about it!

2. You have to pop five Tums after eating things like onions or pizza with red sauce because those items now give you heartburn or indigestion.

3. You leave Christmas parties at 8 because your kid is tired and has to go to bed, but truth be told, you are actually really tired too. 

4. You complain that the bill from the Olive Garden is too expensive when all you ordered was two appetizers and two desserts even though you used to go out in Vegas and spend an insane amount of money on dinner at NINE and didn't even flinch at the bill. 

5. Your hangovers now last for three days instead of three hours.

6. Your New Years Eve plans consist of making fondue at home and watching a good movie. 

7. You started getting hair in random places on your body (I like to call these "phantom hairs") or you find one really, really long hair on a part of your body where there is actually supposed to be hair.

8. You find yourself saying phrases like, "You can put lipstick on a pig but it's still a pig." 

That's all we could remember at the moment which is frustrating because we must have said "You know you're old when...." about twenty times over the last few days. We'll keep a list running and I'll update it occasionally. Feel free to add anything you do or say that makes you think, "Damn, I'm getting old." 

The Dog Ate What??? Ewwwww

Before I post a recap of my Christmas, I had to post a little blurb about a funny, but disgusting, incident that happened over the holiday involving my parents French Bulldog and Trent.

After unpacking our belongings at my parents house, I had to change Trent's dirty diaper. He wrestled away from me before I could put his pants back on and as usual, he quickly whipped off his clean diaper. Sighing, I decided to let him run around my old room for a minute while I got ready to celebrate with my Aunt, Uncle and Grandpa for an early gift exchange. As you girls will understand, I noticed that my brush needed to be "de-haired," so I quickly pulled all of the hair out of my brush and threw it into the trashcan while Trent watched cartoons. As I proceeded to curl my hair, Trent started to run around the room like the tornado that he is. He emptied the trashcan, turned it over to stand on it and was trying to reach the television channels. I laughed at his determination but kept curling.

A few minutes later I hear "poo poo, poo poo." Cringing, I looked at Trent who was proudly pointing to his business. Groaning, I walked over to Trent and was quite disgusted to see that Trent had pulled out my wad of hair from the trashcan and just so happened to poop right on the clump of hair. I picked him up and took him out to the family room which was where I left his wipes. I changed him yet again and grabbed some cleaner and paper towels.

As I walked back into my room, my parents adorable dog, Zooey, walked out of the room licking her chops. I walked over to the area where Trent had made his mess and was shocked to see that the poop had gone missing....it was gone, poop, hairball and all (sorry, Mom and Dad....I left the hairball part out of the story when I told you guys but you'll know now...I love you...hehe). I looked back at Zooey who was still licking her cute little lips and nearly vomited...that poor dog ate Trent's crap! Needless to say, my parents were none too pleased but a few days later, their dog was still alive and not sick in the slightest.

On another note, when opening presents Christmas morning, Trent de-robed and began to grab his junk and whine. I sat him on the big boy potty and he went!!! He was soo excited and proud of himself and my whole family was too. He is getting so big and smart!

Top 10 things I want for Christmas

Over the last few weeks, we've received phone call after phone call, asking us what we want for Christmas and this is such a hard question to answer. We are not those people who usually have a list in hand, ready to pass out to anyone who asks...I mean, we aren't five anymore. If we want something for ourselves, we (especially Mark) will just go out and by it so it has been very difficult to be much help to those family members who have asked us. 

As I have been packing and cleaning, cleaning and packing, I've been thinking about how stressful the holidays are and about what I really want for Christmas. I didn't include anything about keeping my family healthy and happy because that's a given. The below list isn't actually one that I could hand out because it doesn't contain any "gifts" that I could receive....well, take a look and you'll see what I mean.

My Top 10 Wishes for Christmas

10. Trent's ear infection to clear up (we just got back from the doctor and it's still there so it's on to another round of antibiotics). 

9. To sleep through the night without waking up to pee or having the baby kick. What I wouldn't give for a good 8 hours of shut eye. 

8. To have all of the presents we return home with, miraculously put themselves away and for all of the toys that Trent is bound to get, to magically put themselves together and then for the whole house to clean itself. 

7. If we do gather enough courage to take Trent to mass on Christmas Eve, I pray that he sits there silently like a good little boy instead of screaming and wanting to run around like we know he will. Hah!!

6. For my dog's hair to grow back. He's patchiness is making his even more unattractive. If he stopped scratching in the middle of the night and waking me up, that would be great too. 

5. For Mark not to get too tipsy and offend someone as he usually does. As you may know, he is a pretty blunt man who tends to say what is on his mind. He is usually funny but sometimes, offensive! I try not to get too mad at him for his; in turn, he supports me and backs up whatever I say or do as well. It's perfect! 

4. For there to be a marathon of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo because that would just make me laugh and feel like my family is totally normal. 

3. The entire family to get along famously. This makes me laugh out loud because it is a near impossibility, but hey, a girl can hope. An absence of nagging on the side would be a plus. 

2. To scarf down my mother's entire pan of fudge without feeling guilty or gaining five pounds. 

1. To get THE CALL from an agent, who wants to sign me! (You may be sick of hearing this but if you've worked as hard on something as I've worked on my manuscript, you know what I'm talking about). 

I may not get a chance to blog over the next few days, so MERRY CHRISTMAS!! I hope everyone has a nice holiday full of family, friends, good food and lots of love! I'll update on our Christmas adventure when we return! 

The World's Most Expensive Dog

The tab on the worlds most expensive dog continues to climb.

First: we spent way too much on our dog Buster to begin with. Rather than going to a shelter and rescuing a dog in need like we should have done, we went to a pricey pet store and overpaid for a dog who was probably bred in a puppy mill. I told Mark that I wanted the scruffiest, grungiest and homeliest dog around and low and behold, that is what we found in Buster, our carine terrier. So, we paid way too much for the ugliest dog we could find.

Second: shortly after we purchased Buster, I got the feeling that he was not the smartest dog around. This assumption was mostly based on the fact that unlike every other dog in the world who enjoys a good lip-flapping, face-in-the-wind car ride, Buster would attempt to jump out of the car window. Time and again, I warned Mark not to roll the window down all the way because I thought Buster would try to make a break for freedom; I told him to only open it a crack so that Buster could only get his nose through. Mark told me that I was crazy and that no dog would be stupid enough to jump out of the car. Well, we have a stupid dog. Low and behold, I received a frantic call from Mark while I was at work (this was when we still lived in Las Vegas). He screamed into the phone that Buster jumped out of the car window and they were both at the vet. Hysterical and with a big "i told you so," I arrived at the vet to a somber Mark and a sedated Buster. Little Buster's nose was no longer black; rather, it was pink and raw from hitting the pavement. Buster was also missing one of his top K-9's because when he hit the pavement, his tooth broke, thereby exposing the root; thus, he needed to have his big tooth pulled. So, we again paid way too much for this little accident.

Third: shortly after that incident, Buster developed a severe case of allergies. It was so bad that he began to lose all of his fur due to his scratching and biting. He soon looked like he suffered from Alopecia and to make and already ugly dog even more unattractive, he was all scabby and bloody from scratching. We went to vet after vet, none of whom could figure out what was wrong (again, even more money spent) until one of them recommended us to a doggie dermatologist. Apparently, there are very few in the United States but lucky for us, one of them happened to be located in Vegas (and I say this with an eye roll). Off to the dermatologist we went, hairless and bloody dog in hand. He was tested for something like 100 allergens and lucky for us, he tested positive to about half of them! He is allergic to everything from dandelions to wheat. Poor Buster was forced to wear one of those hideous cones so as to prevent him from further biting himself and making himself bleed. And what did it take to heal the world's most expensive dog you might ask? Lots and lots of medication. He had to get two shots in his neck a day and also take four different pills daily. He had to continue the medication for as long as we lived in Vegas! So, with the visit to the ridiculous doggie dermatologist and all of his medication, we again paid way to much money to heal the world's ugliest dog (and I mean thousands....what were we thinking?!)

Fourth: luckily, we moved to Northern Nevada and his allergies immediately cleared up. That was, until about two months ago when he started losing his fur again and biting and scratching. We thought it was the dog food so we changed brands. That didn't work. Within the last few days, it has gotten so bad that I packed up Trent and Buster and headed off to the vet today. Buster was diagnosed with a severe staph infection; he is now back on two different medications and several follow-up visits. So, we again have paid an arm and a leg just to get Buster back to unattractive self.

Let me finish this story by stating that Buster is not only the world's ugliest dog (we literally have people tell us he is hideous looking. My older brother jokes that he is so homely, he should wear a bandana and a carry a little stick over his shoulder like some sort of aimless wanderer), but he is also the grumpiest dog alive. He pulls his lips back and growls at you whenever you try to move him or get him to go outside and he looks so ridiculous doing this! I know he is trying his best to appear vicious but he looks goofy bearing his one K-9 tooth! It is one thing to spend money on a cute little cuddly dog who is truly the definition of a "man's best friend," but to spend money on the grumpiest, ugliest dog is another thing entirely!

As heartless as this may sound, he is a little dog so we probably have many, many years left of spending a crap load of money on the world's ugliest, grumpiest, most expensive dog! Yay for us!

More Pooping Stories

I know that this blog has many, many stories about my son peeing or pooping in odd places, but here is one more....

Some words you never want to hear come out of your kids mouth when he or she is naked: Poo Poo (coupled with a triumphant look and a hand gesture pointing to another direction).

I was just talking to my mom about holiday stress and about how excited I am with the direction of the sequel to Calculated Puncture when Trent runs out of my room shouting, "Poo poo. Poo poo," as he smiles and points in the direction of my room. On a side-note, I was letting him run around naked before getting him dressed for his first dental appointment.

Reluctantly, I tiptoed into my room, not wanting to step in any warm surprise. Trent runs by me screaming "poo poo" as he points in the direction of my bathroom. I follow the little monster around the corner and find him proudly standing near his "business" and pointing to it excitedly.

I have to give it to him, he did potty near the toilet but seeing as how the door was locked, he couldn't make it there so he did his business as close to it as possible. As I proceeded to clean up the mess (still on the phone with my mom and reciting all of the dirty details), Trent began shouting, "Ew, Ew gross!" That is a little phrase my husband taught him a few weeks ago when Trent was trying to play in the garbage. I found it interesting that Trent was telling me his crap was gross every time I had to pick a log up. Ahh, the joys of child-rearing.

Now, off the the dentist we go....this should be interesting considering Trent's continued fear of strangers. I'll update you all on that later.

It's a....BOY!!

We had our 20 week ultrasound last Friday and low and behold, we are sticking to team blue because it's a BOY!!

First, let me back up. Mark, Trent and I arrived at the doctor's office at 12:30, per the time listed on my appointment card. We walk into the office and it is nearly empty...there are no patients waiting and only one receptionist. Finding this odd, I checked in and we were not listed in the computer. They didn't have us down as having an appointment with the ultrasound tech or with the doctor. Good thing I kept my appointment card stating the time and date because they were going to make me schedule another appointment. For a split second, I thought I was going to have to go all Carrie on their bums because there was no way that I was not going to find out the sex of the baby. Thankfully, they snuck us in with the ultrasound tech first.

As soon as the woman put the wand on my belly, she asked me what I thought I was having. I answered that I wanted a girl but figured it was a boy. She started laughing because she said that although she hadn't seen the sex yet, the baby had its hands between its legs, so she was 99% sure it was a boy. She explained that boys in utero usually are always grabbing their junk while girls mouths are usually opening and closing constantly. A few minutes later, she turned the machine toward me and it was more than obvious that there was a wank in between those little legs.

Mark was complete smiles. He couldn't stop saying how excited he was that Trent would have a buddy to wrestle around with. Although I was hoping for a girl, I am thrilled it's a boy because I love my little Trent monster.

As we were leaving the appointment, I kindly reminded Mark of "our deal." We've always said that if we had two of the same sex first, we would go for a third baby. That quickly wiped the smirk off of his face! Who knows what we'll feel like doing in a few years but I have a sneaking suspicion that my desire for a girl won't go away. After all, who am I going to get pedicures with when Mark takes his boys hunting?! Hah! I need a little girl!

So, it looks like I will be in a house full of boys but I have no doubt that I will love every minute of it!

10 Most Fascinating People/Things of 2012

In light of Barbara Walters 10 Most Fascinating People special airing tonight, I thought that I would create my own list of things and/or people that I found most fascinating in 2012. Let the sarcasm begin.



10. The 15% increase in sex toy sales as a result of Fifty Shades of Grey and the bondage kit available for purchase just in time for the holidays. Ben Wa Balls anyone? Now that's a present I want to open in front of the family.

9. Courtney Stodden...need I say more?

8. The fact that Lindsey Lohan is not in jail yet.

7. The fact that Snooki is now the mother to a little "guido." Lord help us.

6. Jake Gyllenhall's scarf.

5. The elasticity and length of Honey Boo Boo's snot when it shot out of her nose after sneezing.

4. The near loss of Sesame Street.

3. Reza's, from The Shah's of Sunset, meticulously groomed mustache.

2. Any and all fabric that has enough elasticity to cover and move with Kim Kardashian's ass.

1. The gnats that came out of Mama's, from Here comes Honey Boo Boo, forklift foot.

The Great Godparent Debate

With the second baby on the way, Mark and I have been discussing the issue of godparents and when I say "discussing," I mean debating...vehemently!

With Trent, and this is not to offend any friend or family member, picking godparents was a piece of cake! We chose my little brother Gabriel, whom I love and adore and as we've grown older, he's become one of my best friends. We also chose Mark's sister, Heather, who is perhaps the most caring and loving person I've ever seen with kids. She is a nanny by trade and a natural with kids so choosing her was a no-brainer. Mark and I both got "our pick" and there was no fighting.

This has not been the case with this bun in the oven! Being that we don't know if this will be our last child, there is an enormous amount of pressure to pick two people who we believe will be the best godparents. Mark and I seriously differ on our logic about this. His philosophy is to pick a family member, no questions asked. My philosophy on the other hand, is to choose someone who is both Catholic and who we are actually close to! I don't think we should pick a family member just because they are a family member. I take so many factors into consideration including whether someone took an active role in Trent's life (if they made no effort to see Trent or get to know him, why would they be any different with this kid?), whether they are Catholic and whether I really believe they would guide my child in the Catholic faith. Seeing as how a godparent has to swear that they would actually assist in raising a child in the Catholic religion, why would I choose someone who practices something else or who doesn't even practice Catholicism at all?

Some of you may be laughing because you know that I am not the most outstanding Catholic in the world. It's true that I don't go to church every Sunday but I still pray every night, believe in most of the religions principles (admittedly, I differ on its stance of gay marriage and abortion...I strongly believe that people should be able to marry whomever they want and I also believe in a woman's right to choose). Regardless, I still want to raise my children Catholic and they will still be forced to attend CCD and complete the various sacraments.

If this is our last child, I want to make the right choice! I don't really believe in "honorary godparents" with the exception of Heather. Perhaps Mark feels differently because he is an "honorary godparent." He isn't Catholic and even if I sound like a two-year old....I am Catholic so I think my vote should be the one that counts (I kid...I kid)!

Choosing godparents is important. Sex In the City even has an entire episode about it! If we have five kids, perhaps we would have the opportunity to choose everyone we want but since that isn't happening, the debate shall continue!

Trent's First Kiss!

Ahhhh....young love!

Mark had a work holiday party last Saturday. So, we packed up some apps, Trent and an ice chest of beer for Mark. The co-worker who hosted the party has an adorable three year old boy and the cutest sixteen month old little girl. Trent and the kids immediately hit it off and were soon playing happily together.

Hours into the party, both Mark and Trent were fascinated with the little girl. Mark kept picking her up and staring at her with the cutest little smile and glean in his eye. He has not stopped talking about that adorable and insanely smart little girl since! He soooo wants the new baby to be a girl (we find out on Friday, whoop, whoop).

At first, Trent did not know what to think when he saw all of the pink! From the little girl's room, to all of her dolls, he was mesmerized! He picked up one of her dolls with the tips of his fingers, turned his head to the side, stared at the little doll face and then immediately dropped it and jumped into the brother's battery-operated car. On a side-note--that little girl would hop into that same car, maneuver it around corners like nobody's business and then park it with the greatest of ease. Both her brother and Trent on the other hand, would get into the car, press the power button and ride the thing until it hit the wall where they would then proceed to keep their fingers on the "gas button" while the tires practically burned a hole in the carpet as if continuing to do the exact same thing would make the car do something different. Ahhhh, the difference between boys and girls.

Back to my story.....

We were getting ready to pack our belongings when we all noticed that Trent and the little girl were staring at each other intently. The mother of the little girl urged her daughter to give Trent a kiss. The little girl took a step forward while Trent stood firmly in place. He couldn't take his eyes off of her! I told Trent to give hugs and kisses. Silently, he took a step forward at the same time that the little girl did. Trent opened his arms...the little girl puckered her lips...they both closed their eyes and leaned forward.....

And then they kissed!

The entire party erupted in cheers and laughter. Trent's eyes shot open and he was soooo excited! He immediately started smiling and he began to run around the kitchen like a dog with the "puppy crazies." It was the cutest thing I have ever seen in my life!

This is most certainly a story for Trent's baby book! My little man had his first kiss and he could not have been more proud of himself!

Half-Sized Growth

After a little research, I discovered that pregnancy hormones relax many ligaments in the body from the pelvic region to the foot. Apparently, a woman's foot can grow a half size or more during pregnancy! Mine grew at least a half of a size when I was pregnant with the Trent Monster and they never went back to normal! 

There is a point to this random little fact that you may not have known. Here it is...last night Mark asked me to look for a purse that I love for Christmas. Every Christmas, I am lucky enough to get a fancy new purse. I know that Mark does this out of the goodness of his heart but I also suspect it's out of a bit of convenience as well; this way, he doesn't have to think of some innovative gift every year because he knows I'll love a purse. 

After browsing the internet for a few minutes, he suggested that this year, instead of a purse, I pick out a pair of designer shoes instead. I couldn't help but laugh at the thought of his buying me a fabulous pair of Jimmy Choos. I thanked him for the gesture but explained that we don't live in Vegas anymore and I just don't have any place to where such heels. Some ladies may think I am crazy for declining such a kind offer but I'd prefer to get something more useful. 

Anyhow, he kept trying to talk me into the idea by saying that he's always heard me talk about some great pair of heels with "red soles." Again, I declined. Being the persistent little bugger that he is, he wouldn't let it go. I finally had to tell him that even if I wanted to get heels, I wouldn't know what size to buy because I don't know what size my foot will be after this kid pops out. This time, he started laughing. We have gotten into such a fight before because he gets mad that I don't wear any of my old shoes. He refused to believe me when I told him that they no longer fit since that beast of a baby, Trent, made his grand debut. We started debating about whether a woman's foot really grows during pregnancy. I finally had to jump on the internet to do a little research and it's true...woman's feet do grow...so put that in your pipe and smoke it, Mr. Clore! 

This started me thinking...a half size is a lot! If I have three kids, my feet will be ginormous! A half size each time! Yikes! I bet some men would be happy if a little something something grew a half size on them with each child sired but nothing else needs to grow on this lady. Nope! 

Sorry, for that digression but as is often the case on various topics, my mind started to wander into the dirty realm (my dirty mind is not my fault, I promise...it's genetic and anyone who knows my parents, knows what I'm talking about).

Well, I am off to research purses before the monster wakes up from his nap :) 

Ear Infection Numero Uno Has Arrived

The first ear infection has arrived :(

Growing up, my dad used to say, "Tianna, we do things big in the Ugarte household or we don't do them at all. Go big or go home." My dad, or "Senior" as my brother's friends call him, usually said this statement whenever my parents were throwing some big event/party. My mother could never throw an average get together whether it was my grandparent's 50th anniversary party (which ended up being not just a renewal of vows, but an entire new wedding) or a Christmas Eve get-together (she literally takes all of her household decorations down and all new decorations go up). My wedding, believe me, was no exception but I'll chat about that another time.

Anyhow, Trent has inherited this "go big or go home" motto because he has come down with not one ear infection but two!

He has been particularly fussy over the last few days... waking up about 6-7 times a night (once he's down for the night, the kid normally doesn't wake up for a good 12 hours), a runny nose, a low-grade fever, and he's been sticking his little finger as far into his ear as possible. This morning, he woke up for good about an hour earlier than normal and when I picked him up out of his crib, I couldn't help but laugh. The poor child had dried boogers all over his face (forehead, upper lip, nose, you name it). After laughing, my heart broke for him as snot oozed out of his little pug nose.

Off to the the doctor we went. On a side-note, Trent has the world's best pediatrician. She is sweet, caring, gentle, fabulous with kid's and she lets me talk her poor ear off every time we see her. She is from Gardnerville and Mark even had her dad as a coach in high school. Point being, she's the best. Thus, after Trent calmed down from his full-body meltdown upon seeing the nurse due to what I can only assume was a fear of getting another shot, the good doctor inspected my bear cub's ears. She confirmed that both ears had puss in them so he is now on antibiotics.

Upon hearing that my little man was, indeed, sick, I felt bad about getting mad at him for literally expelling poop-soup out of his tiny dimpled bum, down his legs and onto my clean floors on the way to the bath last night! I also felt horrible at laughing at his booger speckled face this morning. Now that he is, fingers crossed, on the mend, I promise to be a loving mother and laugh no further. I will not wince when he wipes his snotty face on my shoulder nor will I get grossed out when he hands me a big green booger. Super mom is on duty!

As I typed that last sentence, Trent walked up to me with another booger drenched face, except this time, the snot was reaching his lips.....so, I had to laugh.

Now, I'm done laughing.....I promise ;)

Family Matters

Last night, I excitedly told Mark about the recent announcement of the return of Boy Meets World. Dumbfounded, he looked at me with a blank stare on that rugged face of his and eloquently said, "Huh?"

Shocked, I replied, "You know...Step by Step? Full House? TGIF?" Mark then explained that the only show he watched was Family Matters. He also included some snarky comment about how young I am as he feels it's important to constantly remind me that he is a WHOLE four years older than me. This actually backfired on him once because I turned the tables around on him by reminding him if he was so old, he must also have "old balls." He was not at all pleased with that comment but at least it made him lay off the "older and wiser" joking rhetoric.

Anyhow, I started thinking about the show Family Matters and all that the title implies. This, in turn, made me think about how important family really is and how excited I am with what I think will be the new addition to our clan soon. No, I'm not talking about the baby in my belly (although I am obviously excited about that event as well). I'm talking about the fact that my little brother Gabriel and his long-time girlfriend Tanya are finally talking about the big "M," as in Marriage!!

Gabe and Tanya have been dating for over 4 years now. I first met her when he brought her down to the Bay Area for my wedding. Being the trooper that she is, she came to my bridal luncheon while Gabe went golfing with the boys. She also went with my mother and me to get our nails done the day before the wedding. I remember being impressed with the fact that she was so willing to hang out with Gabe's family without Gabe there and without ever having met us before.

A year or two ago, Tanya and I began to grow close. I don't have a sister myself and I have to admit, it was a bit awkward at first to have my brothers girlfriend calling me on the phone "just to chat." It quickly became routine and now we talk at least 3 times a day. My mom and her sister talk several times a day as well, sometimes, about nothing in particular and I used to be jealous that I didn't have a sister of my own to do that kind of stuff with. I am so lucky that Tanya has stepped into that role and has quickly become the sister I've never had.

Tanya is the tiniest little thing that you have ever seen but man, will she bite if she has to! One of my favorite comments that came from her little mouth was when she said, "Tianna, I'll take off my shoe and heel a bitch." That tough girl talk coming from such a petite girl always makes us laugh.

The first Christmas that she spent with the family, Mark was hugging everyone after the present opening and thanking all for the gifts. Tanya was sitting on the ground when Mark leaned down to hug her. Without even thinking about it, he lifted her into the air like a baby and hugged her; she is that tiny. The family still laughs about that. Another time, Mark was examining her smallness and without thinking told her that she had "tiny little Carnie hands." I'm sure that she came back with some witty reply and that's why we love her. She can give it and take it and that is essential in our family! She fits right in and seems to take the good and the bad that a close family has to offer; not only does she accept it all but she embraces it. My older brother married Tami, my friend of 20+ years, so I am a lucky girl all around!

Someone recently implied to me that sister-in-laws don't have to be close or talk all the time because that's all they are...sister-in-laws. I have to say that I beg to differ! The benefits of having someone like Tanya, even if she is (fingers crossed) "only a sister-in-law" are indescribable!

So, point being...family does matter! Friends come and go. As cliche as it sounds, family is forever and I am lucky to have the family that I have.

Now, hopefully my brother won't take another 4 years to propose to this girl because she is a keeper. I'm off to call "Carnie hands!"

Baby's a Kicking and Thanksgiving Update

Today is the first day that I felt the baby move A LOT. I felt a flutter the day before Thanksgiving and a few times after that (usually when I lie down to sleep) but it wasn't until today that the baby was really moving and shaking! It was so exciting. I even saw my tummy push out a bit which I was quite surprised by being that the baby is, according to thebump.com, the size of an onion. I even asked Trent where the baby was. He gently lifted my shirt a little bit and kissed my stomach. I think my heart melted. Things are definitely getting more and more real (as if the growing tummy wasn't enough)!

Now on to a quick update on our Thanksgiving....

All in all, it was good. I'm still trying to recover and Trent still is not napping well, if at all, (trying to nap last week with two screaming cousins, their mother who was usually screaming as well, 3 dogs, a buzzed husband, etc., was nearly impossible) but we lived through the first Thanksgiving that we hosted. Thankfully, my mother-in-law and I got along beautifully, the deep-fried turkey was fabulous, and my brother-in-laws last minute lobster was delectable.

Unfortunately, my stuffing was dry as who know what because it had to be cooked before my sister-in-law cooked her famous sweet potato soufflé which took well over the hour she claimed it would take so my poor stuffing had to sit on the counter for quite some time. I was given strict instructions to not open the oven door for fear that the soufflé would not rise properly so my stuffing suffered, as did my green bean casserole, which had to sit in the oven with the soufflé and cook twice the allotted time because again, I was not allowed to open the darn oven door!

What is a family get together without a little drama? Believe me, there was a bit of that to go around as well but I fear that some people would no longer talk to me if I detailed it all here :)

So, what did I learn from hosting our first holiday at our home? First, five days with some family members in what we were told is a "small house" in our little "po-dunk town" may be a little too long. Second, I am very thankful to my mother-in-law and pregnant sister-in-law who helped me so much in the kitchen both with cooking and cleaning after dinner because I thought my feet and back were going to break after standing for so long. Lastly, forgo the fancy soufflé in favor of the standard and fattening, yams smothered in brown sugar and marshmallows so that all dishes have a chance of surviving!

I am so thankful to have an insanely hard-working and loving husband, the cutest and most loving son and great family and friends who I love, quirks and all :)

Giving Dad's a Pat on the Back for Being a Dad?

I'm back....sorry it's been so long. I've been swamped with Thanksgiving preparations (which I'll blog about later) but I just heard something that I had to quickly write about right now!

I was just watching The View and Angie Harmon was a guest. She said the most interesting thing about fathers that got me thinking about many comments that have been made to me about Mark as a father. Angie was talking about how her husband, Jason Sehorn, would change their infant's diaper at night and then bring the baby to Angie to breastfeed. She went on to say how many people have told her that she is so lucky to have a husband that helps her out so much with their children and how her response to such comments is something to the effect of, "He's not helping me. He should do these things because they are his children too!" A lightbulb went off in my head as I heard that!

I too have had many people comment about how much Mark helps me out with Trent and how I am sooooo lucky. I am the first to admit, I am lucky to have Mark as a husband and father to my child (soon to be, children). He does "help out." But, I have to agree with Ms. Angie Harmon....Mark should help out with Trent...it is his child too!

Although I am appreciative that Mark tends to Trent, apparently more than other fathers do, I don't think that his giving Trent the occasional bath or changing the sporadic poopy diaper, earns him a merit badge! I love that Mark takes Trent on a "Man Trip" on the weekends (usually to Home Depot), just so the two can spend alone time together on the weekends and so that I can have an hour or two by myself, but Mark likes doing that stuff because he loves spending time with Trent. People have commented that he is such a good father for doing such things and I want to respond, "Is he supposed to be a bad father and do nothing with Trent?" Instead of congratulating Mark for being a good dad, I really want to say that I'm sorry to those woman who don't have a husband who wants to do such things or who doesn't feel like it is their job to help their wife raise their children.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am lucky that Mark does things with Trent, but it is his son and he should want to do things with his son. He cannot wait to coach Trent on his t-ball or soccer teams. A father should want to spend time with his children. My father never missed my cheering at football games or a single dance recital, so I guess I expect that from Mark as well. However, as far as "helping" with a diaper change or calming a screaming Trent, that really isn't help, that is his child and his job too.

I don't get a pat on the back for the hundreds of diapers I've changed, so why should a man?!

I'm off my soapbox for the time being. I'll update about my Thanksgiving later!

Hey Old Lady...Mind Your Own Business!

I cannot believe that Thanksgiving is next week! Being that we are hosting Mark's family (that's 11 people) for five days, Mark and I decided to get a jump start on Thanksgiving preparations.

Thus, after Trent refused to take a nap yesterday (mistake numero uno), we decided to make a trek to Walmart (mistake numero dos) on Veteran's Day (mistake numero tres). Let me preface this story with the fact that we never go to Walmart and I mean NEVER! Yes, the patrons that frequent that store are thoroughly entertaining  and it is so much cheaper than the stores we have in town, it's just always so busy! Not to mention, I always mistakenly stand in the WIC checkout line (thinking, "Sweet, I scored because this line is so short), I start unloading my groceries on the conveyor belt, and then I have to wait like forty-five minutes behind a seventeen year old with two kids who are older than my own, as the checker ensures that each item is WIC approved.

Anyhow, because we have so many groceries to get for Thanksgiving, we decided to brave the crowd so that we could get all of the dry goods before the stores in town start running low. BIG mistake! HUGE! [But I] Had to go shopping now! (Movie trivia, anyone?) Bueller? Bueller?

Moving on...about thirty minutes into our trip, we were doing pretty good. I was checking items off my list and Trent was behaving himself. That is, until he saw a box of raisins. As soon as he saw that red carton, he flipped! He wanted those raisins and he wanted them now. I threw the carton in the cart but that wasn't good enough; he wanted to eat them immediately. Hating when parents allow their children to munch on items in stores that have yet to be purchased, I refused to hand them over to his grubby little mitts and that's when the meltdown really began. The tears....the flailing of limbs...the screaming at the top of his lungs. For the second time in the matter of weeks, we were "those people" in public. Embarrassed, Mark took Trent out of the cart and was going to carry him outside while I finished the shopping. As Mark was leading Trent away, who was screaming at the top of his lungs, the old lady next to me looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Why didn't you leave your child at home with a sitter if he was going to behave that way?" I was shocked. As if I wasn't embarrassed enough, she had to rub it in. I couldn't even answer her. I just pushed my cart away thinking to myself, "Yes, lady. I take my kid out of the house knowing that he is going to have a tantrum and I really enjoy when he does."

A few minutes later, Trent had calmed down and reappeared with Mark, both with smiles on their faces. That is, until Trent saw the carton of raisins again. AHHHHHH! Mark broke down and opened the carton for him. Trent then happily sat in the cart, munching on what you think would be gold. He was as happy as can be.

As we got in the checkout line, I was telling Mark about the rude comment the lady made to me. It was at this very moment that I looked to my left and the old bag was standing in the line next to me. As if on cue, Trent chucked a handful of raisins at her and laughed. Once again, we were embarrassed as we got down on our hands and knees and started collecting the raisins. She had the nerve to turn to me and very sweetly say, "I'm sure the employees will clean that up and he is soooooo cute." We ignored both comments.

Two things came out of this experience, (besides my wanting to chokehold an old lady).

First, I will never take Trent out to a busy public place without his having taken a nap.

Second, I think my husband has a newfound appreciation for how hard (and at times, embarrassing) it can be to deal with an eighteen month old in a public place who has a tantrum!

I have come to the conclusion that those people who roll their eyes at screaming children are either old and grumpy or do not have kids of their own (to the later group: beware...it could be you one day). To both sects, believe, me, parents don't want their children to misbehave, especially in public. It is embarrassing, trust me, and it is not a reflection of how the child acts all of the time. So, please refrain from making comments, smirks, and eye rolls. The next time that a parent in a store has to shop with a tantrum filled child, I will sympathize, smile at the parent and tell them that I know exactly how they feel!

My Child is a Nudist and he LOVES it!

I can't deny that Trent has always liked to be naked. He found his "wiener" (as we call it in my house) fairly early on while in the bath. I remember the first time he discovered his manhood. I called my parents and shrieked, "He's yanking on his junk like he's going to pull it off!" My father, always the comedian, calmly replied, "That's normal, Tianna. He'll probably have his hand on it for the rest of his life." I was appalled realizing that my dad was probably right!

Now that Trent's older, he's figured out how to take his clothes off and he does so any chance he gets. After he finagles his pants down, I inevitably hear the sound of his diaper being ripped off as well. After he is as naked as the day he was born, he always looks so proud of himself as he does a jig and then proceeds to run around the family room like he has the puppy crazies. You know what I'm talking about....when dogs run around like mad for a few minutes for no explicable reason. Well, that's what Trent does. He LOVES being naked. He'll sit down on the cold tile floor, boy parts resting on the ground, and not even flinch. He takes his clothes off in the backyard and waves to the cars as they pass by. I cannot keep clothes on this child!

I've been told that all of this is a sign that he is ready to potty train. So, when he removes his clothes, I follow him around with his frog potty and every time it looks like he is going to pee, I tell him to sit on the potty. He does as he's told, always with a smile, pushes with everything he has, and then he jumps up and runs around (he has not been successful yet). Without fail, the second I tire from chasing him around with the potty and sit down, he pees on the floor, claps and says, "Pee pee!"

He definitely knows what the potty is for and what he is supposed to do on it. Last week, he took his pants off and began grunting. Fearing that I was going to find a big turd on the ground like has happened in the past, I ran to the sound of the grunting. (Side note, one time Trent did poop on the bathroom floor and right on to a Tiffany necklace of mine that he found, making it appear as if our dog pooped on a dog chain but nope, it was Trent. It was one of those moments that I had to take a picture of in case I need to blackmail him when he becomes a mouthy teenager). Anyhow, I found Trent on his  frog potty pushing like he was being paid, only it was the one time that he had not removed his diaper. He did have a big poo in his diaper and he did his business while sitting on the toilet, so, I was proud nonetheless, especially considering that I haven't been pushing the potty training thing down his throat.

Apparently, my little brother Gabriel loved to run around naked too. I think it's cute but my husband is starting to think it's a bit excessive. My theory...let the kid run around in all his glory! Unless he grows up to live in a nudist colony (I'll keep my fingers crossed that this does not happen), when is he ever going to be able to get away with such behavior?!

So, I say.....Take it off and run, Trent, Run!!

Allegedly, there's a Bear Cub on the Loose!

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, this is the conversation I had with my husband...

Me: "Mark, I have to warn you, I'm probably going to have to sleep with my mouth wide open and I know how much you despise mouth-breathers."

Mark: "Why? Is your nose stuffed up?"

Me: "Yup."

Mark: "It's okay. I'm used to it. Every time you're pregnant you snore like a bear cub."

I whipped around so fast, I feared I gave myself whiplash. I couldn't believe it. Have I been known to occasionally have full conversations in my sleep? Yes! Do I have to get up to pee three times a night? Yup. Do I believe that I snore like a bear cub? No way!

Logically, I know that if my nose is stuffed up and I have to sleep with my mouth open, I'll snore but no woman, especially a pregnant one, wants to be told that she sounds like a bear cub!

When I was pregnant with Trent, I had cold-like symptoms throughout my entire pregnancy. I even developed a cough from month five until the second Trent popped out of me. The cough actually became so strong that during labor, the doctor told me to cough rather than push because there was more progress with coughing than my meager hunching and scrunching. Thus, approximately fifteen minutes after I started to push and about four or five coughs later, Trent was pulled out and into this world.

Back to my alleged snoring...I refuse to believe that I snore, much less like a bear cub. And, if I do, then Mark snores like a tiger attacking a gazelle on some South African plain. Apparently, between the two of us, it's like animals attack in our bedroom and not in a good way!

Now, I'm off to bed but I still refuse to believe that I snore like a bear cub. I maintain that such an animal is not on the loose!

Terrible Two's...Already?!

To all you parents out there: you know those moments when your child gives you a big, sloppy open-mouthed kiss for no reason? When your little angel hugs you so tight you can feel the love he or she has for you? When you stare at your child and tears come to your eyes because you don't know how can you love anyone any more and you cannot imagine your life without your child? Well, yesterday was not one of those days!

Trent is 18 months old and we really have been blessed with a pretty well-behaved little man. He never has cried much. He often plays in complete contentment by himself.  All in all, he has been a pretty great baby. Alas, I fear those days are over and that the Terrible Two's have officially arrived.

Almost over night, my perfect angel has turned into a, dare I say it, MONSTER! Although he understands the word "no," he chooses to completely disregard it and he knows when he is doing something that he is not supposed to be doing! It truly is amazing. Yesterday, he threw his oatmeal on the wall and said, "bad boy!" Every time I took something away that he is not supposed to have or told him "no," he would try to hit me! I was shocked!

When I thought he was watching Super Why like a good little boy while I was getting ready, he decided to suck up his entire zippy cup of chocolate milk, spit it into a bowl and then dump the contents on the couch! That's what I get for leaving him unattended for an entire three minutes...he sure showed me.

We had to make our way to Target where he normally sits in the cart without making a peep. Ha! He thought it was a great idea to screech at the top of his lungs the entire time we were there. He wasn't upset nor was he crying; he just wanted to yell and then laugh each time he did it. I received glares. I received eye rolls. I was THAT person! It was so embarrassing. He would then reach into the back of the cart, pick up whatever his little mitts could reach and then chuck it to the ground.

After we arrived home, I was putting groceries away and apparently, he retrieved two K-cups behind my back and quietly snuck off to his room. I heard his music station chirping along merrily so I thought all was well...that was, until I began to smell the strong stench of coffee with my Spidey-pregnancy nose. I rushed to his room and saw that he had decimated the two K-cups and spread the grinds all around his room.

The above happenings were not even a quarter of the trouble my monster created yesterday. Between his constantly turning the oven off so that dinner took twice as long to cook and him opening up the floor registers to throw whatever is in his reach down there, he was a terror. The scary thing is how quickly he actually gets into trouble! It's not as if I leave him unattended all day long, kids are just that fast. He actually reduced me to tears! I've tried time-outs, swatting of his hands and even spanking, which I fear is the cause of his trying to hit me! I can't take him outside to burn off energy because it's too cold here right now and I can't even take him to his normal play center because it's closed this week.

So, here I am, sipping my tea while I eyeball my son. As I watched him staring at the bookshelf, clearly doing recon, I call his name. He then looks at me with this completely mischievous little glare before he flashes me the best smile he has and runs away. He is up to something, I just know it!

I have to go........!!

The First Trimester is Nearly Complete

I had my 12 week appointment last week and my doctor, who is possibly the world's greatest OBGYN, said that everything is looking great. Mark and I were able to see two little legs kicking furiously and the baby's hands rub it's little alien-looking head. Now that we are out of the woods, we officially announced the pregnancy via what else... Facebook of course (to which my husband filled his blue eyes dramatically--he is not a fan)! We had already told our immediate family and very close friends our wonderful news but it was fun to tell everyone else.

All in all, it has been a really easy first trimester. I have had very little nausea which is such a difference from when I was pregnant with Trent. I am telling myself that this means it is a girl even though I know there is no correlation to nausea and gender! Other than been bloated and tired, I feel pretty darn good. I lift my bottle of water as I cheers myself and toast to two more such easy trimesters and a healthy baby!

Ten Pound Boulders

For those of you who know me, you know that I tend to say what is on my mind and over-share a bit. Thus, this blog should come as no surprise because it is about boobs. If you do not wish to hear all about how a pregnant woman's boobs change during the course of pregnancy, I warn you....stop reading now!! If you are brave enough to read my description, please continue...

After I became pregnant with Trent, my mother bought me a wonderful book entitled Pregnancy Day by Day. At that time, my pseudo sister-in-law, Tanya, was flipping though the pages and gasped aloud. I was shocked to see the look on her face...it screamed mortification...it screamed repulsion...it screamed disgust. I asked her what was wrong and she pushed the book across my mom's countertop and pointed to the page without looking further. I glanced down and was a bit shocked myself. The picture on the page was of a woman squeezing her lactating nipple and milk was literally shooting out of her like a water pistol. I understood Tanya's disgust because no one really wants or needs to see such a thing. Wouldn't a simple blurb about how milk can shoot out with some impressive distance if tweaked just right been sufficient? Apparently not. Apparently, photographic evidence was required. 

Even though I am not yet at the point of lactation, some interesting things are happening with my boobs. For instance, they feel like they weigh a good ten pounds. I was almost tempted to plop them down on a scale to see if I am correct but even I have my limits. Anyhoo, they are hard as rocks and resemble waterways on a roadmap in that blue veins are are now visible. I know this is all normal and part of the miracle of bringing a baby into this world, but I miss my old boobs! Most know that a woman's boobs that have been pulled on and bit by a breastfeeding child are never quite the same but some people may know that the changes began during pregnancy. For my friends out there who have yet to experience the often times painful but insanely special bond of breastfeeding, take one last look in the mirror and cherish your perky boobs for they may never be the same again :)

Hey Mr. Sandman...care to bring me a dream?

For those of you who have yet to push an eight pound baby out of your lady bits (or had your stomach sliced open via a C-section), you may not know that sleep deprivation starts shortly after you peer down at those two gloriously bright pink lines on your pregnancy test and NOT after that little bundle of joy actually enters the world and is safely in your arms. When I found out that I was pregnant with my son, I turned to my husband and said, "Babe, we have eight more months left to enjoy peaceful, uninterrupted sleep." So, imagine my surprise when I began waking up to pee two or three times per night within days of my positive pregnancy test. I wanted to scream, "This isn't fair!! Not yet!! The baby isn't even here yet!!" After a skim through What to Expect When You Are Expecting, I discovered that frequent urination in the beginning is due to a growing uterus, not to mention baby.

Well, my lack of sleep from this pregnancy is catching up with me already. Not only am I exhausted as is common during the first trimester, but I'm so stinking tired because I can't stop peeing in the middle of the night! I've tried not drinking water hours before I am planning on going to sleep and that doesn't even work. Alas, I am resigned to the fact that even though my little monster has been sleeping through the night for the last seven months, my sleepless nights have begun again and if this baby is like Trent, those nights will probably continue for the next 18 months or so.

So, for all of you woman out there who are on the cusp of getting pregnant, let me give you this little piece of advice:  even though a baby is worth everything your body goes through for nine months, ENJOY those last few uninterrupted eight hours of sleep! Enjoy those dreams, even the nightmares, because it means that you are actually sleeping long enough to dream :) Thus, sleep tight my friends and think of me when you wake up from that restful night of slumber!

I'm bloated people...not showing!

I'm so bloated. I have no doubt that at this very moment, I could go into a pool and be used as a flotation device for a small family. If one were to stick a pin in me, I would deflate and sputter away like a popped balloon. Combined with the fatigue and nausea, I feel pretty crappy.

I was always surprised to hear that others showed as early as seven or eight weeks with their second pregnancy. I had my doubts upon hearing such proclamations but now, my suspicions are now and forever confirmed....to all the second time moms out there, unless you're having sextuplets, you are not showing, you are just bloated! The baby is the size of a raspberry for crying out loud, so again, I must say, you are not showing!!

So, for those of you, and you know who you are, who have touched my belly upon hearing that I am pregnant and said, "I thought you were pregnant because you're showing," I must inform you, I am NOT showing, I am insanely, ridiculously, and uncontrollably bloated but thank you for making me feel as crappy as I feel!

It's Official...I'm Pregnant!

      It's official...I'm preggo...with child...knocked up! I have a bun in the oven...again. 

      We had an ultrasound today where we saw the tiny little heartbeat and where the doctor confirmed that I'm 7 weeks, 1 day. It was such a relief to know that my hysterical sobbing to First Daughter starring Katie Holmes a few weeks ago was a side effect of increasing hormone levels and not a sign of my losing my mind as I feared. You know the movie I'm talking about...a 25 year old Katie Holmes plays an 18 year old college freshman who just happens to be the President's daughter. Long story short, she falls in love with her R.A. whom she discovers is really a Secret Service Agent hired by her father and thus, the love is predictably, forbidden. Well, I sat on the couch during my son's nap and cried like a little you know what when she discovers who her true love is. Ridiculous, right? 

      A week or so after that embarrassing display of emotion, I took a pregnancy test, set it aside and picked up my US weekly. Casually, I peered around my magazine and was shocked to see two dark red lines glaring back at me. Needless to say, I was shocked. Being that it took quite some time to get pregnant with my son Trent, not to mention a miscarriage, I couldn't believe that I was pregnant on our first try! Who would have guessed that a whole lot of Miller Lite during a family camping trip would result in our new little peanut? Not us, I can assure you, but we are thrilled!

     Now, all I have to do is get through these next few months, all while I attempt to raise a well behaved one and a half year old, find a literary agent who feels as passionately about my novel as I do, keep a clean home and happy husband, and document my pregnancy in this blog. Whew....I'm exhausted already! 

      Anyhow, we cannot wait to welcome our second little monster on May 7, 2013!